tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-85675102877130653102024-03-05T08:41:46.517-08:00Transforming With Bariatric SurgeryAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01268308985316035434noreply@blogger.comBlogger22125truetag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8567510287713065310.post-8749787197236921632013-04-16T12:01:00.000-07:002013-04-16T12:01:16.411-07:0028 Weeks & Old Habits ReSurface! Yesterday I went to for my 28 week check up with my obstetrician. It was fantastic! My favorite part was definitely the ultrasound!! There is something so incredibly special about modern technology allowing you to see the little life that grows inside you before they actually arrive! I learned that my son is 16" and 3.2 pounds! How incredible is THAT?!! Here I was, all these months, worrying incessantly about my nutritional intake and thinking maybe he wasn't getting enough! LOL It turns out the average size of a 28 wk gestation baby is 14" and 2.2-2.5 pounds...so he is definitely absorbing a plethora of nutritients!
<blockquote> On the Flip Side ... </blockquote>
Old habits REALLY do die hard. I have absolutely been struggling with my habits, water intake and just adjusting to my changing body. It's so easy to say "ohhhhh don't be silly, you're PREGNANT! it's OK!" but unfortunately, my brain will then say it's NOT okay, pregnant or not and I then wrestle for a while. Before surgery, I wasn't really a "sweets" type person. I was all about breads, pastas, (sandwiches were my total favorite) and sure, occasionally I'd eat something sweet, but not much of it. Leading up to surgery you learn about the dredded "Dumping Syndrome" and I never paid much attention to it, after all, why should I ? I'm not at risk for eating sugary foods that would induce that issue anyway. WRONG! It's like someone has completely FLIPPED my taste buds all around. Sure, I still like sandwiches BUT oh my stars! I crave sweets like never before. I'm hoping that it's just a pregnancy thing because it is total TORTURE! I definitely indulge more than I should...and the worst part? I DO NOT DUMP FROM SUGAR! It really pisses me off that I don't. I actually WANTED TO! I was hoping it would teach me the harsh reality that it is NOT OK to eat that stuff. But, of course, my pouch welcomes it. I have substituted my cravings with fruit & Cool Whip but honestly, that doesn't always work. I guess my brain knows what I'm trying to do and just isn't falling for it.
I definitely work hard at bypassing fast food restaurants. Sadly I still get cravings for those as well. And yes, I know which places my pouch will tolerate and which ones it won't. Thankfully it's only a couple spots, but it still is a fight. I really don't know what happened. In the beginning I never had cravings for "bad" things and to the contrary, my pouch rejected most foods unless they were organic and fresh from the Farmer's Market. Then, slowly but surely, I guess my pouch healed more and more and became more tolerant to "regular" foods. Once that began, the fat girl inside me just HAD to push the envelope and try new things from time to time "just to see".
For instance: if I am out and about, I'll start thinking about fast food. I always have PLENTY of fruit & snacks (like protein bars) in my purse in addition to extra bottles of cold water. Yet, I still need to have a mental debate with myself and go over it again and again as to WHY I DO NOT NEED FAST FOOD! It's so exhausting. And it kills my self esteem. I really feel like my goodness I should be OVER THIS ALREADY! Geez.
Plus, I gained these pissy little 3 pounds back so I'm at 287 again. This is my 4th month of teetering back and forth between 284-287. Again, YES, I know I'm pregnant. Yet, I struggled sooooo hard to get where I am, I just can't help but be fearful that I'm going to screw everything up and continue to gain and gain and gain and then never get it all off after Carlos is born, thus wasting time/money/efforts to get this surgery.
I track my food intake, honestly, on MyFitnessPal. I'm SuperHumanC on there if you'd like to follow me. (I haven't figured out how to get a ticker on my blog yet despite being told how LOL) I've still got my Facebook page up ( facebook.com/TransformingWithBariatricSurgery ) so please, check those out if you haven't already.
I'm just at a crossroad right now. Maybe it's because I'm tired today and that's why I feel funky. I don't know.
OR
Maybe it's the fact that the ENTIRE 20 minute drive home I had to re-assure myself I didn't need fast food and how it was unhealthy, why I wouldn't want to admit to that (because I'm listing EVERYTHING I put into my mouth on that app!) how dare I want to spend money (that I don't have!) on something so bad for me, etc! And again, I just feel like I shouldn't be doing these things.
Anyway, I was cleared to do "slow, early morning walking" by my doctor yesterday, which I was super happy about. So, here is my picture I took this morning. I walked in honor of those affected in Boston's horrific bombings yesterday. What is this world coming to? smh
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9UswcCm5WAloSJqehRUcgJQzjhkMsJyGQP1Z6OkeTJwjuo33nbG3WatyxI9qvv6P9fdggzs5agQ17NlLg03p_-66vd3plzkNe-UkFJxuAOc_5aENnZPHDlBJ8GJYMBppdHRmhpMZzRBQc/s1600/901358_181276442023620_513762577_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9UswcCm5WAloSJqehRUcgJQzjhkMsJyGQP1Z6OkeTJwjuo33nbG3WatyxI9qvv6P9fdggzs5agQ17NlLg03p_-66vd3plzkNe-UkFJxuAOc_5aENnZPHDlBJ8GJYMBppdHRmhpMZzRBQc/s320/901358_181276442023620_513762577_o.jpg" /></a>
Until next time... Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01268308985316035434noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8567510287713065310.post-22140124521119316912013-04-12T04:55:00.000-07:002013-04-12T04:57:17.890-07:00Confessions & FeelingsHi everyone :-) I was debating whether or not to write on Monday after my next appointment but there were some things I wanted to say.
I'm not sure if I had said this in my previous post but I purchased "Body Gospel" which is a low impact workout from Beachbody (where Insanity / P90x & TurboFire all originated) and eagerly began. Obviously, being so pregnant, my physical capabilities were not as high as those on the videos so I did modify them to better suit my body's needs. I woke up each morning, immediately got dressed and pressed "PLAY" to ensure my workout was completed first thing.
As luck would have it, my routine was shattered by my obstetrician at the previous appointment. Up until that point I had no clue I considered a HIGH RISK pregnancy... So I was taken aback when she adamantly discouraged my exercising and warned me about my very real risk for pre-term labor.
As it was she was a bit put off by my loss of 2 lbs in the week gap between appointments. I had successfully made it back to my January weight / lowest-in-God-know's-how-long of 284. It taught me that I need to exercise 6 days every week OR I'll put the weight back on.
Anyway, I respect her and followed the rules... Until my baby sister flew in from Connecticut to visit for a week. She had never been to Charlotte before and I was intent on making sure she had a fantastic time! We pretty much were on-the-go the entire time she was here, bouncing from place to place, shopping, updating baby registries, doing activities with my Mom's group, et cetera.
No good deed shall go unpunished.
The following day after her departure I began having contractions. These were not just Braxton Hicks ... These were full-on contractions, back pain, vomiting, diarrhea, get-your-ass-to-the-ER-contractions!
It turns out my "home" hospital is 20 minutes away WITHOUT traffic. Having contractions 5 minutes apart made that drive feel like it was on the opposite coast of the country. Instead I drove to the closest hospital that is also under the same name just different branch. They were not happy to see me at all. It was crowded, of course, and they felt as if I was encroaching on their turf. Geez, I thought I did a great job driving myself AND toughing out TWO SETS OF CONTRACTIONS along the way without causing an accident! But, what do I know?
Thankfully the Lord answered my prayers and stopped my I labor on it's own. That worked out perfectly because the staff didn't have time for me and since Carlos appeared to be doing just fine on the monitors, I guess that meant I wasn't a priority to them anyway. Upon dismissal hours later, the nurse stressed to me several times not to come back there if it were to happen again and to take the extra time to go to my home hospital.
Not a problem!
Since then I've gotten back into my routine of napping during the day, drinking tons of water or decaf green tea and napping some more. My son is extremely active and seems to be growing nicely according to the size of my giant, round stomach! :-)
I'm having another ultrasound done on Monday and can't wait to see my little womb-mate again. I can, however, wait to get on the scale. I'm not looking forward to that part, at all.
Before I forget: I'm back actively using MyFitnessPal again; feel free to add me "SuperHumanC". Also, if you haven't already, check out my Facebook page ( www.Facebook.com/TransformingWithBariatricSurgery ) I'd love to hear any questions, comments, suggestions you may have. I'm hoping I can get to know all of my followers and make my page more interactive. Right now I feel like I'm talking to myself ;-)
Thank you for sharing this journey with me. It means the world.
Until next time...
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhzuEPYIZm_llLh96RG6VYla9xsUeWppwwwqrOBIKHKz9JWOFLgrMFwKTVW1HNBBo1cUxM2D2FKhBDNBoSKaWER1t_cWg0go5gM5UftgvFTW51cfsNbWw3_scyswh2BIYSH9j6Pa9AugFA/s1600/PhotoGrid_1365386814093.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhzuEPYIZm_llLh96RG6VYla9xsUeWppwwwqrOBIKHKz9JWOFLgrMFwKTVW1HNBBo1cUxM2D2FKhBDNBoSKaWER1t_cWg0go5gM5UftgvFTW51cfsNbWw3_scyswh2BIYSH9j6Pa9AugFA/s320/PhotoGrid_1365386814093.jpg" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgBbPbXYlkBWVRNMIsn5w76d_DqgDrfCmsHSi3oJ2JE12y7G-u_oimjaF-SUaapEKe2Veo5WVdJu8pUjDd72XXpIJBzWdFBbKmQp-F3lwpmxkn0hgpVapRNPpv4wz7QYLimH47CKWiGpyb/s1600/IMG_20130328_163718.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgBbPbXYlkBWVRNMIsn5w76d_DqgDrfCmsHSi3oJ2JE12y7G-u_oimjaF-SUaapEKe2Veo5WVdJu8pUjDd72XXpIJBzWdFBbKmQp-F3lwpmxkn0hgpVapRNPpv4wz7QYLimH47CKWiGpyb/s320/IMG_20130328_163718.jpg" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijiXcxrKi0NCYI1W4SBFrPjBkv04DhPfpya3igRsj_RikbbLV1CAStZuplSaAfZfpmNubPYIJ64ZU_-IMkw5wW9ZhO1HByCVgH59xUaSK1XSTxp7uC03a2DmMzTM42fijuGHpHHCMkh7Vf/s1600/IMG_20130402_145832.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijiXcxrKi0NCYI1W4SBFrPjBkv04DhPfpya3igRsj_RikbbLV1CAStZuplSaAfZfpmNubPYIJ64ZU_-IMkw5wW9ZhO1HByCVgH59xUaSK1XSTxp7uC03a2DmMzTM42fijuGHpHHCMkh7Vf/s320/IMG_20130402_145832.jpg" /></a>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01268308985316035434noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8567510287713065310.post-25510530774820868912013-03-04T15:22:00.000-08:002013-03-04T15:22:21.214-08:0022 weeks & counting!
Hey Everyone!
Today I went in to see my OB for my check up. I'm currently 22 wks pregnant and everything is going great! In fact, (I can't remember if I blogged about this or not but...) between January & February I had gained 3lbs. Yep! My first gain since surgery! I wasn't totally shocked but the reality was a slap to my pride! I had gotten down to 284 and went up to 287. Besides, could I *really* expect to lose weight during my entire pregnancy?
Anyway, I am proud to announce that I lost one of those 3 lbs I had found at my last check up! :) So I'm currently 286! Even better: all the tests we had done last month for Down Syndrome/brain/spinal abnormalities all came back NEGATIVE! Our little blessing is perfectly HEALTHY, so I can't possibly ask for anymore!
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFkPPJp5LkDpsYYot3QuJ9Kafiy38NIsPIkZu6eGxuobtkP54YSCDEwp1R5V3_uUdC8hKEKhyh9-lw6EUCTOM0jWO7-lZwsAE43Aqx-7CBM6F_5NOLM36M2IDvbRBfl7a832LRKUcJcxlg/s1600/22+wks+3.4.13.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFkPPJp5LkDpsYYot3QuJ9Kafiy38NIsPIkZu6eGxuobtkP54YSCDEwp1R5V3_uUdC8hKEKhyh9-lw6EUCTOM0jWO7-lZwsAE43Aqx-7CBM6F_5NOLM36M2IDvbRBfl7a832LRKUcJcxlg/s320/22+wks+3.4.13.jpg" /></a>
On another note! It was brought to my attention that Team Beachbody was selling their BODY GOSPEL workout set for only $25! I have been wanting that for some time now...so I jumped on it! I'm so excited, it arrived today and I'll be starting it tomorrow! Don't worry, it's low impact and my DR said it was fine for me to continue to exercise. I just can't do TurboFire ;)
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhr5tQkLQnpYVTPpTPP3-IlTJj6IbJuT2-tgZGMEK9_isQu9nYKcW5Tmpw_iK_N2bJAbt2Stn89iw2hWAee4MscpkFcHFVcZ_CNePXz2Ke1EVioSsoXmWeJHHEQUbtDWI4bYggYu39_nUc0/s1600/Body+Gospel.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhr5tQkLQnpYVTPpTPP3-IlTJj6IbJuT2-tgZGMEK9_isQu9nYKcW5Tmpw_iK_N2bJAbt2Stn89iw2hWAee4MscpkFcHFVcZ_CNePXz2Ke1EVioSsoXmWeJHHEQUbtDWI4bYggYu39_nUc0/s320/Body+Gospel.jpg" /></a>
I hope y'all are doing great! Please check out my FB Page "Transforming With Bariatric Surgery" and show some love! :)
Until next time...
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01268308985316035434noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8567510287713065310.post-31852454793586021002013-01-08T07:04:00.003-08:002013-01-24T05:04:36.462-08:00Why Do We Have to Remain Quiet? I learned some extremely valuable information last week. While I'm grateful to have been privvy to this info, it also really enraged me.
There was a point in time where I was having phone conversations and swapping emails, as well as pictures, with my nutritionist. (She works for my surgeon) Since transportation was an issue for me and I wasn't able to get rides to see her in person (it was 3 hrs one way!) I was very grateful for her help via alternative options.
As I'm sure you can tell, I was just as detailed about my daily regiment with her as I have been with y'all. I'm sure you can imagine my euphoria when I told her all about the liquid protein vials I had found to mix with my high protein powders to make my infamous "Super Protein" shakes. I was really proud of myself for being able to get in a full days worth of protein FOR BREAKFAST! I just knew I'd be a great rule follower! :) Thankfully, my nutritionist was excited and cheered me on! She wanted pictures of the liquid protein to pass this info onto other patients. Life was great! :)
Little by little as time progressed, my hair started to fall out. Well, I read in this book "Weight Loss Surgery for Dummies" that at about 4 months post op this will happen to you if you're not getting enough protein. I just dismissed it because well...after all, I'm getting more than enough protein every day and even my nutritionist says I'm doing great!
Since I found out I was pregnant, my communications began to diminish with my surgeon and nutritionist. I just feel like it's because they weren't happy with me getting pregnant just 3 months post op. I can't say I'm totally shocked. Not everyone is going to share in my joy!
Now that we've moved to North Carolina, I had to (obviously) get a new obstetrician. Would you believe the doctor I was given is a bariatric patient too?!!!! How awesome is that?! And...she was pregnant soon after too. (So I feel better and less like a leper!) But, as I was telling her about my "Super Protein" breakfasts...she quickly stops to interject this vital piece of information:
<b> OUR BODIES CAN ONLY PROCESS ABOUT 20G OF PROTEIN AT ONE TIME, THEREFORE EVERYTHING OVER THAT IS BEING WASTED! </b>
I was taken aback. But, we kept chatting and then my boyfriend and I got to hear our baby's heartbeat for the first time and forgot all about what I had just heard.
After a couple days I was thinking about that conversation and it hit me like a ton of bricks: I HAVE NOT BEEN GETTING ALL THE PROTEIN I'VE NEEDED LIKE I THOUGHT...LIKE MY NUTRITIONIST ENSURED !
Then, as any mom would, I began "What-If'ing" myself: what if my baby has been harmed? What if there's a problem? What if I've really damaged my body?
<b> WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD MY NUTRITIONIST NOT KNOW THAT WHAT I WAS DOING WAS WRONG AND THEN "OK" IT AND LEAD ME TO BELIEVE I WAS DOING THE RIGHT THINGS? </b>
I'm currently awaiting for the results of the slew of blood work done last week. I just continue to feel like I haven't been given correct information and have been quietly guided away from all things that may not be POSITIVE and uplifting.
But, guess what?! NOT EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE POSITIVE AND HAPPY AND GREAT! There are always going to be downfalls, missteps and negative sides; to having weight loss surgery or ANYTHING you do in life. Why are we supposed to keep quiet about negative side effects? Why?
As you can see I'm just extrememly upset. I don't understand. I just don't. It's not even about my hair. Yes, especially as a female, having long, thick, curly hair has been my "thing" ... so to now have bald spots, thin, whispy hair that's falling out in chunks daily isn't my perfect idea of reality but I DON'T WANT MY BABY TO SUFFER. However, I've been more diligent since last week to ensure I'm drinking protein every 90 minutes so I *know* my body is processing enough. It's just the previous months that worry me.
Thankfully, my OB has assured me everything's going to be fine...but when you're pregnant, that doesn't really help. But I appreciate the effort!
I haven't contacted my "nutritionist" because I don't think I can successfully write an email that can NICELY explain my findings without giving a tongue lashing. I am 150% positive a phone call is DEFINITELY out of the question. But, best believe in the near future I will be contacting her so I can teach her something new.
Until next time... Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01268308985316035434noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8567510287713065310.post-87353268608042374792012-12-27T16:58:00.000-08:002012-12-27T16:58:14.163-08:00Slackers Anonymous ! It's been such a long time since I last updated you guys, for that I'm sorry. My family's life has been flipped all around the past couple of months, thankfully for all POSITIVE REASONS.
First, we were excited to learn that on 9/26/12 we were blessed with our first GRANDBABY! Here's a current pic of our grandson, Kamari. We love him so much!
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwCm2WZU96zugKzNn7HQ4YOSa-QDjX6eBaPBvRnFQdPxuEKZ0QUSDisMvezGWvDsX69mBTeCGbWjJPTEa4jFlcuJMKgTNl0AwH_cEvOWDnsi12ZZYHvc4aSOTual5gxKM1hflGKi7jZKRv/s1600/Img0001_12-24-2012.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="240" width="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwCm2WZU96zugKzNn7HQ4YOSa-QDjX6eBaPBvRnFQdPxuEKZ0QUSDisMvezGWvDsX69mBTeCGbWjJPTEa4jFlcuJMKgTNl0AwH_cEvOWDnsi12ZZYHvc4aSOTual5gxKM1hflGKi7jZKRv/s320/Img0001_12-24-2012.JPG" /></a></div>
As of 2 weeks ago I was 285 lbs! That's right folks, that is OVER 100 lbs LOST! :)
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhE5Kza9Cn2RUu2x9GpORmR828StQa-RvZ7w9LjZw20EKIZMPbXcRnXmskhqsRa2-mHfKUVHaN1XDctJD_OT_T13e9uEaSGPK0VGPRKsyWJRdB5y_J3ZvZud2QnAPafhiustbSXOW2zKdYc/s1600/12.10.12.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="320" width="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhE5Kza9Cn2RUu2x9GpORmR828StQa-RvZ7w9LjZw20EKIZMPbXcRnXmskhqsRa2-mHfKUVHaN1XDctJD_OT_T13e9uEaSGPK0VGPRKsyWJRdB5y_J3ZvZud2QnAPafhiustbSXOW2zKdYc/s320/12.10.12.jpg" /></a></div>
God works in mysterious ways! We had been planning on moving and were wanting to take a trip to Charlotte, NC to check out the city. Next thing we know, it's November 4, 2012 and...
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9O8G9zFUop7BffYIdnnFtCkhFYSjQoRMdKon8vhdf7V_jeIhQNbDbNj96h4emdrM6bSYlYkRd29V9PpdtQj_cXk6eikJ5VJR9a0Wz27T1g8Adt82niyhHBErwKkKCoUIhUD5EJxtz39jx/s1600/1356655524772.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="320" width="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9O8G9zFUop7BffYIdnnFtCkhFYSjQoRMdKon8vhdf7V_jeIhQNbDbNj96h4emdrM6bSYlYkRd29V9PpdtQj_cXk6eikJ5VJR9a0Wz27T1g8Adt82niyhHBErwKkKCoUIhUD5EJxtz39jx/s320/1356655524772.jpg" /></a></div>
YES! I AM PREGNANT! :)
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnXQArDilCVch7tZ3dZ54WXXuWIaYw7v8IuyNhvAMV0CAnpJxDIL5JhyfbKXSje4xSvxCAdOGOGOQJ2xy9zugmF6PLVqGb3O_UJ7wTETUCs9q7lch9b7wJDynPQsQOZavy_ujSoTDk2C3D/s1600/1356653083671.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="320" width="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnXQArDilCVch7tZ3dZ54WXXuWIaYw7v8IuyNhvAMV0CAnpJxDIL5JhyfbKXSje4xSvxCAdOGOGOQJ2xy9zugmF6PLVqGb3O_UJ7wTETUCs9q7lch9b7wJDynPQsQOZavy_ujSoTDk2C3D/s320/1356653083671.jpg" /></a></div>
Right now I am 12 weeks. On Monday I'll be 13 weeks, starting my second trimester! So far, everything is going well, THANK YOU LORD! I was really scared at first, since, my pouch hasn't been the nicest to me. However, your body knows what it needs to do! My surgeon advised me to eat every 2 hours. AND I DO! :) The morning sickness wasn't nearly as bad as it was with my son (who is super excited to become a big brother!) but it definitely kept me down some days. Thankfully it's lightening up the further along I get. Also on Monday I'll be having a check up with my new OB...I really hope we can get a sonogram. But if not, I know we'll get one soon!
Oh, I almost forgot! Two days after Thanksgiving we moved to Charlotte, NC! Here is our gorgeous home:
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlb7CRITqlN_NePD6vMqBRIgI3E6Ox41MQasEbv66plOEQjmgJP6DzFUh4BgCTLUT5TIBdguQnAf9x0r6anuMpdarDXAxnFqMWCsVn_XoN5qCKUYIZOdMq9qdd8pC-wOK4A3nsFWeR00ci/s1600/PhotoGrid_1353110339418.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="320" width="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlb7CRITqlN_NePD6vMqBRIgI3E6Ox41MQasEbv66plOEQjmgJP6DzFUh4BgCTLUT5TIBdguQnAf9x0r6anuMpdarDXAxnFqMWCsVn_XoN5qCKUYIZOdMq9qdd8pC-wOK4A3nsFWeR00ci/s320/PhotoGrid_1353110339418.png" /></a></div>
It has 4 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms and is 1800 sq ft! There is 3500sq ft of front & back yards. We just adore it here. The city is huge, we haven't even seen all of it and we've been here a month already! :)
Anyway, now that we're settled, internet up and running and a working laptop I'll be able to keep the updates coming again :)
I hope each of you have a HAPPY NEW YEAR <3
Til next time...Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01268308985316035434noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8567510287713065310.post-30236073376712442012-09-22T12:46:00.001-07:002012-09-22T12:46:47.268-07:00Compare & Contrast and my Famous Recipe!Lately my friends have been begging me to give them an idea of what it means to be down (at the time 70lbs) sooooo here's my comparison shot as of last week:
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhei6-rBqxtRUmSrd5A6nUjEXJULNwaW1J8nrbpM1cc3aNjtmO9KH9Ow6nBhV5u8iZoWQQ-Bw3f8EdlHxE3TOWwxE9crzDa8PgUe36vSiWMqUgoQ7JGvl-wrC5Ox-mN6dWzlM2MZZgLiugl/s1600/7-9-12+on+the+left+and+9-14-12+on+the+right+70lbs+missing.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="320" width="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhei6-rBqxtRUmSrd5A6nUjEXJULNwaW1J8nrbpM1cc3aNjtmO9KH9Ow6nBhV5u8iZoWQQ-Bw3f8EdlHxE3TOWwxE9crzDa8PgUe36vSiWMqUgoQ7JGvl-wrC5Ox-mN6dWzlM2MZZgLiugl/s320/7-9-12+on+the+left+and+9-14-12+on+the+right+70lbs+missing.jpg" /></a></div>
The picture on the left was taken the day before my surgery, 7-9-12. The picture on the right was taken last week, 9-14-12. Big difference so far! I am glad I made this pic, it really helps me see how far I've come because I forget so quickly and get caught thinking about how much much further I have left to go. The reality is, I've lost just a smidge under 1/3 of my entire body weight! That's so fantastic! All of my HARD WORK is paying off! I'm exercising EVERY DAY! (Well, 6 days) Sometimes I'm doing it twice a day. I've built up to 4 miles each way...so I alternate. Some days I will walk 4 miles and go home to either a Leslie Sansone Walk at Home DVD, TurboFire Greatest HIITs (High Intensity Interval Training) from Beachbody DVD or 45 minutes of playing Just Dance on the Wii. Sometimes I will just walk the neighborhood twice and get in 8 miles that day...in addition to whatever errands I'm doing.
Here's my awesome recipe I handed out to my Weight Loss Support Group this morning:
Crock Pot Chili (feel free to tweak it to your needs, this is just a base!)
Ingredients
1.5lbs ground beef 1tsp tumeric
1c chopped onion 1c taco seasoning
2 bay leaves 2tsp cumin
2tbsp chili powder 1tbsp minced garlic
1tsp salt 1tsp pepper
1tbsp paprika 1tsp red cayenne pepper
28oz canned tomatoes (your choice) 1 dash of red pepper flakes
1 can EACH: dark & light kidney beans, pinto beans & black beans
Optional: various colored bell peppers, chopped
Directions:
*Tip: Spray your Crock Pot with Non-Stick Spray for EASY clean up!
Brown the beef, add taco & other seasonings, then put into your Crock Pot. Add the rest of the ingredients EXCEPT for the kidney beans.
Cook on low 8 to 10 hours OR on high for 5 to 6 hours. Stir occasionally.
Add your kidney beans about 90 minutes before serving. ENJOY! :)
(You can sprinkle cheddar cheese on top & add a dollop of sour cream!)
Hope you have a great weekend! As always, THANK YOU FOR READING! :)
Until next time...
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01268308985316035434noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8567510287713065310.post-74396949691342595422012-09-11T18:29:00.001-07:002012-09-11T18:35:57.721-07:0010 Weeks Out & Haters Hating!Hey everyone, my laptop is acting up, so that's why I haven't been on updating as much as I'd like. But, as usual, I'm full of pictures & stories!
First of all: I am 10 weeks out and currently weigh 321; I'm down 66lbs! Here's how I looked on Sunday for my son's birthday party :)
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg60yV7agc9tIdYjAvIyF8HAcWbllPMiZICuKwKphLMexYCYb67nGNhoQo5rBLrg401p7hIEKr4Z8dYWbYAJyWwUbeTCa4wZWtuNnvqfdeUA7GBNSl7eYAZxl1CETZSgua5sj0yPXuLZ9MS/s1600/620818_4079132330130_254969641_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="320" width="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg60yV7agc9tIdYjAvIyF8HAcWbllPMiZICuKwKphLMexYCYb67nGNhoQo5rBLrg401p7hIEKr4Z8dYWbYAJyWwUbeTCa4wZWtuNnvqfdeUA7GBNSl7eYAZxl1CETZSgua5sj0yPXuLZ9MS/s320/620818_4079132330130_254969641_o.jpg" /></a></div>
Sometimes I wake up in the morning and I just get SO DOWN on myself! This entire process is so hard, mentally and physically. No matter how much I try to keep positive, I still slip. Since I'm having a tough time with food, I have found myself feeling as though I should be seeing more results since I'm basically not eating yet exercising definitely 5 days a week, but usually 6 days. What I constantly forget is that the scale doesn't remind me of all the INCHES I'm losing off of my body. That's what's so complex about this entire ordeal. My clothes feel looser, some more than others, and yet there are some items that are tight 28's while I own 26's that are now falling off! Confusing! It's a matter of time before this is just a distant memory. Anyway, my body mass is completely different. In fact, I found some pictures on my digital camera that completely put it into perspective for me, I'll be putting those up soon! ;)
Speaking of distant memories...
I can't wait until I reach that "ideal" weight and am where I want to be so all the people who continue to talk bad about me behind my back while smiling in my face can REALLY stick my success in their juice box and suck it!
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5T7t7OvZktFu10Cnm9mlUlJV54FXURf15FG_0CsitKmbLxJtKCnhYcZtC0a4Z_HTkM49-OjQnLmltd-U8rCijy5Iz0sXnwv4bxHDgPcCwb3ewy4BiHCrITuJ27LyNOG4AeCGObhWGqOjJ/s1600/332610_4088835052692_1699010454_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="320" width="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5T7t7OvZktFu10Cnm9mlUlJV54FXURf15FG_0CsitKmbLxJtKCnhYcZtC0a4Z_HTkM49-OjQnLmltd-U8rCijy5Iz0sXnwv4bxHDgPcCwb3ewy4BiHCrITuJ27LyNOG4AeCGObhWGqOjJ/s320/332610_4088835052692_1699010454_o.jpg" /></a></div>
This is me tonight. I hadn't exercised this morning but I was fired up earlier after hearing some more MOTIVATIONAL WORDS from a friend of mine about a mutual acquaintance. Because once again, it's a family member that can't help but continue to spread rumors & say hateful things about me, it does hurt a little bit but I always suck it up and use it to motivate me to be better!Seriously, while I'm out walking, I think about all the mean & hurtful things people have said about me to keep me buzzing along! Anyway, I wrote myself a little sign and took it on my walk this evening! :) Here's the thing, I've been hearing that "easy way out" phrase again from multiple people. It never, ever will make sense to me how people can honestly believe that bariatric patients are taking the "easy way out". This isn't a diet. It's an entire lifestyle change. So while they can continue to try diets to compete with me, please remember that I can lose my fat but you can't get rid of the ugly in your soul! (Just sayin'!) This surgery is PERMANENT! It's not just a fad or phase I'm going through. I may not be a size 12 yet but the difference between me & them is I WILL DEFINITELY REACH MY GOAL...BECAUSE I AM DETERMINED AND THAT IS WHAT THIS SURGERY DOES!
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixSFfCp5MZopJoe-EOMDxNL3GtZaxh6CPyDUBbgz9yx4YhvocQZEPlJSLSCN9z7q0hXley6KrUsWZUzLYlBEa6YWysRS0h7QMVgpDvUfw3dQdTmQLNVQ6gp-jn4s_oAJeEIZHmAsbSZlTG/s1600/303659_10152091097330046_1926521417_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="229" width="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixSFfCp5MZopJoe-EOMDxNL3GtZaxh6CPyDUBbgz9yx4YhvocQZEPlJSLSCN9z7q0hXley6KrUsWZUzLYlBEa6YWysRS0h7QMVgpDvUfw3dQdTmQLNVQ6gp-jn4s_oAJeEIZHmAsbSZlTG/s320/303659_10152091097330046_1926521417_n.jpg" /></a></div>
If you are trying to start getting fit then please know that it's not easy, it definitely takes dedication and hard work. You have to be serious to get results! Once you get to that point where you HONESTLY are READY ... NOTHING CAN STOP YOU! I'm a perfect example: I have been trying to get this surgery since 2007. Granted, I had to endure some extreme changes (gave up my 5 bedroom house, my car, both my jobs and my comfort zone!) but I did it because ultimately I chose LIFE. Not just a new life for myself, but I wanted to live for my son and for every person around me who makes me smile or giggle. I want to be here to help others feel that incredible excitement of stepping on a scale and NOT wanting to break it! I'm definitely loving that cliche' saying "If I can do it, YOU CAN DO IT!" but it's so apropos! ( ap-ruh-poh ; it means fitting, at the right time, to the purpose, opportunely )
I want to discuss something I've been going through. My eyelashes have been breaking & falling out and my hair is changing! When I was growing up, my hair was brown and straight. As I hit puberty, it became jet black and super curly. Most of you who know me would recognize me by my long, curly hair! Now, it's straightening out again. But it's in this in-between phase and is such a pain to deal with. I really miss my curls actually. So I find myself putting it in buns because I can't do anything with it. As for the eyelashes, I really don't know what to say about that. I've always had nice, long thick lashes. None of which I can identify with anymore. I don't know if this is related to the surgery or not. I really have no clue. OH that reminds me, next week I am going back to Augusta for another EGD so my surgeon can check my pouch and make sure there's nothing wrong with it. My nutritionist spoke to him about my emails asking for help finding foods I can tolerate. I didn't write her anything mean, just was being honest. I hope she didn't take them the wrong way. At least I'm getting it checked out though! Of course, I'll let y'all know what happens!
Thank you for reading this. Thank you for encouraging me. You may not know it and I may not know you. But I watch the "views" and every time it goes up, it validates that I'm doing the right thing by sharing the REAL LIFE EXPERIENCES I am going through. So THANK YOU, you inspire ME.
Final Thought:
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOla7PrP9tt2Gud3zp8TyHP_EAQwktz8tYsg1pydCU-1VyC8lHd22UsDjBIf98Yps8bCwJ7wv2WsLNgVtlchkvtM7ZujD2GhEXFwms0HZw3xSekE7JTMmh-acgZvDX4DVuTuRIk8ZuVjWY/s1600/316711_10150266145001980_534431979_7950065_3080434_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="145" width="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOla7PrP9tt2Gud3zp8TyHP_EAQwktz8tYsg1pydCU-1VyC8lHd22UsDjBIf98Yps8bCwJ7wv2WsLNgVtlchkvtM7ZujD2GhEXFwms0HZw3xSekE7JTMmh-acgZvDX4DVuTuRIk8ZuVjWY/s320/316711_10150266145001980_534431979_7950065_3080434_n.jpg" /></a></div>
Until next time...
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01268308985316035434noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8567510287713065310.post-12429598673986800782012-08-22T10:26:00.000-07:002012-08-22T10:30:54.696-07:006 Week Post Op Weigh InHeyyyy! First up, let me correct a couple things: I went to see my surgeon back on 8-10-12 for my 1 month check up. It turns out my scale REALLY does hate me. It was wrong, sadly. At the surgeon's office, I was 340...not the 334 my scale had led me to believe! *grrrr* As usual, I broke out in tears. (Dr. Glass must think I am a TOTAL crybaby because he has YET to see me where I didn't cry at least ONCE during the visit! LOL) Anyway, he - once again - told me to STOP OBSESSING OVER THE NUMBERS ON THE SCALE! He has told me a while back to STAY OFF THE SCALE because it's going to drive me crazy from the constant fluctuation. Dr. Glass said that he has seen too many people throughout his years get caught up on the numbers and end up GAINING THE WEIGHT BACK because they try to tailor their eating habits based on what they think affects the numbers most...but usually end up being WRONG. Then he asked me, HOW MANY OTHER TIMES IN MY LIFE HAVE I LOST OVER 40LBS IN *ONE* MONTH? ...NONE! OK then! ;) Plus he let me know that the weight loss during the first year comes off in CHUNKS...I could have little loss then all of the sudden drop a LOT. It's all about patience. (Not my normal forte')
Yesterday I went to see my PCP. I am proud to announce that I am no longer on ANY medications! (Ok, well, still on my anti-depressants & anxiety pills) I previously was taking 27 different medications and now I am only on 2! Woooooooo! My blood pressure was perfect and I weighed - for real this time! LoL- 334lbs!
Here I am walking yesterday: I left the house at 7:30A!
Today: (Love my headband!) I really ENJOY walking every morning! #POW!
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhajEGFZcLTZlt5WO6PFVEUE4XMuCcUvKR_9_T8JzyT2PpJjKIrQoSwYFJN95ITDEW_WVvjRh1SJxSVGV1IIFhTCz_dFPvgM6I33ng9rJzHu4l9Qq5iVUsXuakdNBRnt5ZNAuhzeB284thq/s1600/IMG_20120821_074543.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="320" width="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhajEGFZcLTZlt5WO6PFVEUE4XMuCcUvKR_9_T8JzyT2PpJjKIrQoSwYFJN95ITDEW_WVvjRh1SJxSVGV1IIFhTCz_dFPvgM6I33ng9rJzHu4l9Qq5iVUsXuakdNBRnt5ZNAuhzeB284thq/s320/IMG_20120821_074543.jpg" /></a></div>
I've really been feeling so accomplished about getting up every morning to exercise. I have more faith in myself. I really thought I wasn't going to adapt, but I am. I love feeling so empowered. Speaking of feeling good and empowered...
This picture makes me happy....my baby kitty TINY! <3 It's a funky pic, but that's why it makes me giggle! Just wanted to share it LOL
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgh5MfLIFYObzVML6IRBqA7ax9e5zpmmHGiKUxETCB6662ilAmLxa-71H8ChXSHpSDOgSZm9PbBPiX0xc0D3VnsWLxmiL_-5FCbGI6bYI4WAcpTsqIOIOrHuR1ydOQoLcY4ZFy48lIv72fD/s1600/IMG_20120822_094410.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="320" width="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgh5MfLIFYObzVML6IRBqA7ax9e5zpmmHGiKUxETCB6662ilAmLxa-71H8ChXSHpSDOgSZm9PbBPiX0xc0D3VnsWLxmiL_-5FCbGI6bYI4WAcpTsqIOIOrHuR1ydOQoLcY4ZFy48lIv72fD/s320/IMG_20120822_094410.jpg" /></a></div>
*Random* I have been chewing a LOT of gum lately. This is my FAVORITE! You gotta try it :)
YUMMIEST GUM EVER! Root Beer Float!
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEQlOJtl09bfR6o2WDnE1fHu9yePwkAcbviBHzcN68k4ey3A2bEXa-f-aIgcK1dwyrO39ZB0DMuK_IO0gz7IcLJhz1rUuklEfZhC9BLBGvrWFnLX6y8XuebUQxneWxx8-u3nVN3dWxINS-/s1600/IMG_20120818_091835.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="320" width="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEQlOJtl09bfR6o2WDnE1fHu9yePwkAcbviBHzcN68k4ey3A2bEXa-f-aIgcK1dwyrO39ZB0DMuK_IO0gz7IcLJhz1rUuklEfZhC9BLBGvrWFnLX6y8XuebUQxneWxx8-u3nVN3dWxINS-/s320/IMG_20120818_091835.jpg" /></a></div>
This is my soft foods list: I hope y'all can see it OK. Anyway, I was told on the 10th I could begin this diet for the next few weeks.
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipKgOpjEI6tspF1g1W3DBHu5ZzeT85OQ79GRGWR0FVCnFIh1r9BjMjdsmzReIc1DtNUzOT14KcX05K3JXe8t6NyuRXq5ZupvOrXD2DFScJJkucjtnLcVwLPHxRSn3kOARtyOJsNScShXHF/s1600/IMG_20120818_193424.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="320" width="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipKgOpjEI6tspF1g1W3DBHu5ZzeT85OQ79GRGWR0FVCnFIh1r9BjMjdsmzReIc1DtNUzOT14KcX05K3JXe8t6NyuRXq5ZupvOrXD2DFScJJkucjtnLcVwLPHxRSn3kOARtyOJsNScShXHF/s320/IMG_20120818_193424.jpg" /></a></div>
However, it hasn't been easy. Last week I struggled so much. My pouch was rejecting everything after just a couple times. I became very discouraged so I called the surgeon's office on Monday. It turns out, like I said yesterday (or was it Monday? LOL) that my pouch is pissy. I'm happy to announce that I was able to eat some EGG DROP SOUP last night and this morning for breakfast! :) I also ate an entire small egg yesterday for lunch. It might not sound like much, but hey, IT MEANT THE WORLD TO ME. I've been so extremely concerned about becoming malnourished.
Before I go, I'm going to share one last picture. Maybe I shouldn't, but I am so tickled pink with how good I'm feeling about my weight loss already AND THE PROGRESS I'VE MADE! I took a picture to show much smaller I truly am ALREADY!
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAjOSIrvV9u6hrYjYl7Vk7ZKMQ8SHb9Fn0vnoLHj4K4tePgU1c-sgzpNfowm6o8BRKAK_JJNeFJfX6amddw7QpsN7Ki0V_LfeHy-kmy8WTcPtO2QfOlXD3r5qFhwc_Am53h5QHbsoWeAyf/s1600/IMG_20120822_123512.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="320" width="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAjOSIrvV9u6hrYjYl7Vk7ZKMQ8SHb9Fn0vnoLHj4K4tePgU1c-sgzpNfowm6o8BRKAK_JJNeFJfX6amddw7QpsN7Ki0V_LfeHy-kmy8WTcPtO2QfOlXD3r5qFhwc_Am53h5QHbsoWeAyf/s320/IMG_20120822_123512.jpg" /></a></div>
Until next time...
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01268308985316035434noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8567510287713065310.post-15575826936302536922012-08-20T16:00:00.002-07:002013-01-24T05:14:34.645-08:00I TOLD Y'ALL I WAS SPECIAL! :) It turns out that yours truly happens to be one of the RARE FEW who get the Gastric Bypass and end up spending the rest of their lives with a MOODY POUCH! Yep! Since my follow up I have not been having success with soft foods. Thankfully I really enjoy protein drinks, popsicles AND yogurt. I called my surgeon's office today. I explained that I have been following my List of Approved Soft Foods yet, I can only eat the items once or twice and then my pouch rejects it by making me violently throw it up. I won't lie to you, (that would defeat the purpose of this blog!), I have ended up not wanting to continue to try to eat food. For every decision you make in life, whether positive or negative, there are always going to be unintended consequences. There is no way to predict who will have this rare complication. But, it's OK. I needed this surgery to live longer than a couple more years. I must burn that into my brain. This has been really difficult on me, mentally. I'm happy to report that my REAL HUNGER and HEAD HUNGER have magically disappeared. However, I do try to pay attention and make sure I'm drinking enough and trying to get in at least a little bit of food periodically. I don't wanna be "that girl" who was hospitalized for becoming malnourished. I'm drinking water, which has to be plain and room temperature most times, and taking my medicines and vitamins. It has really been an interesting journey thus far. Please listen and heed the warning when your surgeon/friends/support groups tell you that your palette is going to dramatically change. THAT IS TOTALLY TRUE!
Here is an upside to continued not-eating : I HAVE SOME CURVE!
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsrDykpaDfs8zXyDOHZXZp1AloHC8_NJfqsvIcn6q-dMTJ21ixFZuL-d622a6juda1bqUtQh49SmuCdjGvWqpSWLkdbxLzMIJscDZTn406KF1fjnCPYBhUJJHbm9KyEGZBeq9lf-JBHwhq/s1600/first.sight.of.curves.8.18.12.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="320" width="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsrDykpaDfs8zXyDOHZXZp1AloHC8_NJfqsvIcn6q-dMTJ21ixFZuL-d622a6juda1bqUtQh49SmuCdjGvWqpSWLkdbxLzMIJscDZTn406KF1fjnCPYBhUJJHbm9KyEGZBeq9lf-JBHwhq/s320/first.sight.of.curves.8.18.12.jpg" /></a></div>
This was me the other day:
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCXa8u5Vx1lDg_bTFlakn0gsR_va2w7VeMnxRRaVQrEsJjV9A6TLVoc4ONMDtiuuRThOaXcnUGlFpOoCXep8XqNBEHPjDfvFfpyAKmsj68NiPlCBt7EqVRzCKzQsLjMNO7pF5LmZ-Ir0iX/s1600/courtney.8.17.12.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="320" width="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCXa8u5Vx1lDg_bTFlakn0gsR_va2w7VeMnxRRaVQrEsJjV9A6TLVoc4ONMDtiuuRThOaXcnUGlFpOoCXep8XqNBEHPjDfvFfpyAKmsj68NiPlCBt7EqVRzCKzQsLjMNO7pF5LmZ-Ir0iX/s320/courtney.8.17.12.jpg" /></a></div>
I'm feeling better about myself. Overall. But this new revelation is definitely stressing me OUT! Of all the ways for me to be "special" it had to be in a negative way! Ugh. I was told I'd just have to be careful the rest of my life, use trial & error with foods and eat whatever I can tolerate, enjoy it while I can and move on to something new when my pouch no longer likes said food. Oh, and immediate, random, unexpected bowel movements can happen at any moment too when my pouch gets upset, for no reason at all. (She is a total mean skinny brat!) This is a lot to take in. I know. I'm living it.
However, at least I'm alive and will continue to be.
I'm continuing to walk, here's a shot of me today:
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8m6zIfmXcfrTVHlkwAtaVQySpZOR8uQTojNZoaonsQ3vYMqzOlBuSG62aJk-M_FTDcQpl5pXqcypwn-L72M5qpRfBd1mMldV-iogCiSf198TGaG9h5qiaYGSmIks2csWBK5BPHVmqeV1_/s1600/courtney.exercise.8.20.12.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="320" width="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8m6zIfmXcfrTVHlkwAtaVQySpZOR8uQTojNZoaonsQ3vYMqzOlBuSG62aJk-M_FTDcQpl5pXqcypwn-L72M5qpRfBd1mMldV-iogCiSf198TGaG9h5qiaYGSmIks2csWBK5BPHVmqeV1_/s320/courtney.exercise.8.20.12.jpg" /></a></div>
The sun was in my eyes! Walking REALLY boosts my spirit. I feel so proud. I've been wearing make up the past few days. It makes me feel so beautiful. Even though I only have eyes for my man, I've been getting a lot more male attention already when I walk out the door. None of those compliments are anywhere close to the heartfelt ones my soulmate gives me. He is so amazing and so supportive. I can't believe God brought us together. Honestly, I don't know what I'd do without him.
Until next time...Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01268308985316035434noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8567510287713065310.post-38514937864360895322012-08-08T14:36:00.002-07:002012-08-08T14:50:41.107-07:004 Weeks Post Op Weigh-In & Review!Hello Again My Lovely Followers!
Yesterday marked my 4th week "out" and I took some pictures to help reflect my current stage of loss. Amazingly the scale, my "fri-enemy", boosted my self esteem for the first time EVER by posting "334.6". That means I've lost 33.4 lbs since surgery four weeks ago and a grand total of 53.4 lbs lost since I began the liquid diet 2 weeks prior to my surgery. I am overjoyed! It hasn't been easy but nonetheless, I've lost a smidge over 50 lbs! I haven't been this "small" in ages! (Honestly, I really can't remember the last time) Now that is my new goal: I'd like to lost another 50lbs by the next month!
Take a peek:
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCRdbzX4L1yMJ4OX3LgrX9fd4jusgCtEZqdgp5psvgq8-xZlzx8cqgQIJV1EMWQCbvvj1v-eUawkf0b3jp0a5CpWBOlVdKaO2CBNIZ3B4VuT2myX5971KGFUAakjV6u7ujjxui_3fLeIEV/s1600/IMG_20120806_092859.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="320" width="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCRdbzX4L1yMJ4OX3LgrX9fd4jusgCtEZqdgp5psvgq8-xZlzx8cqgQIJV1EMWQCbvvj1v-eUawkf0b3jp0a5CpWBOlVdKaO2CBNIZ3B4VuT2myX5971KGFUAakjV6u7ujjxui_3fLeIEV/s320/IMG_20120806_092859.jpg" /></a></div>
I definitely notice a difference in my face! It's a helluva lot smaller than it used to be. It wasn't long ago that looking in the mirror made me feel like Jabba The Hut. Yes, I'm serious! Here's how my stomach is looking: (The image on the left was 2 days post op and the right is from last week)The incisions are healing VERY nicely!
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgT_Axjv2PYt2c0zvjmA0x-1TDjdEiqM9xIs412pq5XyXklzbEQn-0odGAI6tzsRaJ4fcL2ZuzGAzdX3csXPRsLmlXd6Ve3LU5G0d_it41bARQT-p_kCXrTJXRf44LAiZTCdHmoiQyMRf_k/s1600/PhotoGrid_1343381272840.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="200" width="315" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgT_Axjv2PYt2c0zvjmA0x-1TDjdEiqM9xIs412pq5XyXklzbEQn-0odGAI6tzsRaJ4fcL2ZuzGAzdX3csXPRsLmlXd6Ve3LU5G0d_it41bARQT-p_kCXrTJXRf44LAiZTCdHmoiQyMRf_k/s320/PhotoGrid_1343381272840.jpg" /></a></div>
Before I forget, there are some other pointers I'd like to share with you and yes, I've taken pictures to help illustrate it for ya! :)
I'm on a tight budget and I feel as if these surgeries aren't exactly catering to those with anorexic wallets. Here are some items I've found, relatively cheap, that help me get by.
First up, as you know, you're going to be SURVIVING on PROTEIN ONLY for some time Pre & Post Op. My personal favorite is Body Fortress' various flavors which I found at Wal-Mart. A huge 2 lb. tub is only $14.97! This tub will last you about 2 weeks. Also, post op, you'll need to take CALCIUM for the rest of your life. I found that Vitamin World (in our malls here in Savannah BUT also online! just add ".com") sells LIQUID CALCIUM *CITRATE* (you can NOT have CARBONATE....ONLY CITRATE!) in various flavors for $10 per bottle. Each bottle lasts me about 2 weeks.
Here's a pic of those items:
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVO4viwzOWLWdMIhCEG-c0B8phvlj1Ds_ztqYilwYlRtnI72fjzcjHHyUu2E0HJ-Ge_OQ0bKsgWLyTNFVCe5O6Ol8lZYhN2pMU0DAeDiMx_gQOYEEaq8x0rovzb-8nwV2qNgBWxUCsPDUy/s1600/PhotoGrid_1342654986522.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="200" width="315" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVO4viwzOWLWdMIhCEG-c0B8phvlj1Ds_ztqYilwYlRtnI72fjzcjHHyUu2E0HJ-Ge_OQ0bKsgWLyTNFVCe5O6Ol8lZYhN2pMU0DAeDiMx_gQOYEEaq8x0rovzb-8nwV2qNgBWxUCsPDUy/s320/PhotoGrid_1342654986522.jpg" /></a></div>
I had some fantastic and motivating pictures on my son's digital camera of my full body BUT of course, I can't seem to get them loaded onto the computer. Ugh. For someone so smart, I feel so damn dumb sometimes! ;)
In the past 2 weeks since I wrote last, I've felt WONDERFUL. I've been getting up early and immediately going out to walk for 2 miles with my son each day! In fact, on Monday, Anthony went with us!
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh64lf5QVSWQgBl2-vHfBvHs4fPiyI85-yuhiX_ky7mNQkP9kelTxCTp38hkju15IE_fH6QKDUEKAY66OMDrZECgFcJfsClNgoiDdx3cWpQB8yrW0XOHRQ0mEI3NGFKa5tH6orvqicSJk2m/s1600/IMG_20120806_173927.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="320" width="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh64lf5QVSWQgBl2-vHfBvHs4fPiyI85-yuhiX_ky7mNQkP9kelTxCTp38hkju15IE_fH6QKDUEKAY66OMDrZECgFcJfsClNgoiDdx3cWpQB8yrW0XOHRQ0mEI3NGFKa5tH6orvqicSJk2m/s320/IMG_20120806_173927.jpg" /></a></div>
I started off only doing 2 miles. In fact, what I do in order to FORCE myself to walk that far is this: I walk up to the main road. It's an entire mile up. Once I'm there I know that if I want to get home I have to walk my big ass all the way back! Once I get home I'm so PROUD of myself for completing two whole miles! This past Sunday I decided I was going go a little bit further. One of the side streets happens to add an extra half mile to my trip. So now I'm walking 2.5 miles everyday. I can't thank my guys enough for their constant support. It REALLY helps me stay positive and motivated to know they (as well as my FB family!) are all standing by rooting for me! Roman is walking with me as well. I have always wanted to be that awesome role model for him in the fitness department; better late than never! :)
On Friday I am going back to Augusta for my One Month Check Up with my surgeon. I'll be OFFICIALLY allowed to eat food! Not much food, just some soft foods. Honestly, I've already started on that.
In fact, early on, when I talked about being hungry, it's true I was. But now, I'm getting used to my new feelings and my new pouch. When I feel hungry, it's not that same old hunger feeling I used to get. I will nibble on some - get this!- FAT FREE cottage cheese! I used to HATE FF cottage cheese and now, IT IS HEAVENLY! It's so wild how much our taste buds really do change post op! Anyway, I nibble on 4 oz. and feel satisfied and full. Not the "OMG-I'm-gonna-barf" type full, but an "OK-I've-had-enough-I'm-good!" type full.
It was really hard at first to learn that I have to eat and drink SLOWLY...in SMALL amounts. Those are things you definitely want to train yourself to do BEFORE SURGERY! (Yes, they tell you that but I am stubborn!) I love, love, LOVE to drink WATER! Especially with LOTS OF ICE! I love ice! :) However, I can't enjoy my giant cups of water that I'd guzzle down like I'd just been rescued from weeks in the desert. I can only have a couple sips here and there. Sometimes I still chug a few sips at a time to quench my thirst and then my pouch will push out a very unlady-like burp with a side of pain to remind me I can't treat her that way. It's true, your pouch REALLY DOES talk to you! So be kind! :)
The schedule I've got myself on now is this: It seems as though every 2 hours my pouch is asking for something to nibble on. Yes, I've timed it, so I'm sure it's every 2 hours. I am still drinking my protein. But, it totally sucks. I'm so over protein drinks, it's not even funny! I bought a couple cans of the Starkist Tuna (yes, it's worth the extra money for the name brand, I totally understand the difference now!) which has 15g of protein in every 2 oz! Of course, I had mixed up 4 oz of tuna with some mayo & mustard in my little cute container! Surprisingly, I was able to SLOWLY eat all of the tuna and it held me over VERY NICELY until 2 hours later! LoL Then I ate my other 4 oz that this one can had produced. I also bought some chicken in the can. I've never had that before, so I'll let y'all know how it goes.
The cottage cheese is still my favorite thing to eat. It doesn't make me thirsty. Tuna doesn't make me thirsty either but mentally I feel like I SHOULD be drinking after, so that's a side effect I don't like. (But man-oh-man was it heavenly!) I'm really proud of myself for learning how to slow it down on eating and drinking. I suppose it just is going to take TIME to adjust. What can I say? I'm an instant gratification type gal. I want everything to be perfect and IMMEDIATELY DAMN IT! LoL But, overall it's coming together nicely.
OH! Remember when I wrote last time about being dizzy and nauseous? Guess what was causing it?!! I WAS DEHYDRATED! I really felt like I was drinking enough but apparently I wasn't. So please, please, please FORCE YOURSELF to take a couple sips EVERY 2 MINUTES while you are awake! Yes, you heard me! EVERY 2 MINUTES! Also, when I got sick and kept throwing up, that was caused my an over production of acid that had built up in my pouch! So...it turned out that I'm (as well as every other bariatric patient too!) supposed to be taking PRILOSEC OTC *EVERY DAY* for at least the first couple years post op! You can also get the GENERIC WAL-MART BRAND, but this is what I bought:
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzEz0kbCgA2iqZzYbEV0RISRWQK-9tc3MlevjT6nP1CeCWwG92NfHvV4TnN4pkZ98UbmcIS6jRX5LJhzFJSREXhy1QpxabifXGu3dRHqcTCuxMPJUaMl8wWWP1j8wKQqXXtztq-3OHUvLC/s1600/IMG_20120808_162107.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="320" width="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzEz0kbCgA2iqZzYbEV0RISRWQK-9tc3MlevjT6nP1CeCWwG92NfHvV4TnN4pkZ98UbmcIS6jRX5LJhzFJSREXhy1QpxabifXGu3dRHqcTCuxMPJUaMl8wWWP1j8wKQqXXtztq-3OHUvLC/s320/IMG_20120808_162107.jpg" /></a></div>
MAKE SURE YOU CRUSH UP YOUR PILLS VERY, VERY WELL!
Anyway, I'm on Cloud 9! My whole life has turned around for the better in the past month. I used to take over 20 different medicines every day (most 2x daily!) now I take just 2...and I'm sure once I go back to my PCP that number is going to DROP!
My blood sugar levels are NORMAL! They have been in the 80s- low 90s since surgery! I can't tell you how much I enjoy NOT taking insulin injections anymore! My blood pressure was 112/62 yesterday! My clothes are all super loose! Most importantly, I feel accomplished and proud of myself. I was scared and unsure of this decision and now I'm positive I made the right choice.
Yes, there are going to be good days and bad days. But, EVERYONE HAS THOSE! If you're considering this surgery (or any of the other types of bariatric surgeries) please don't let my honesty of the pitfalls I've encountered scare you away. At least you know what to watch out for! ;) You will meet people who are going to try to change your mind about this surgery. DO NOT LISTEN TO THEM! Your surgeon will NOT perform a surgery like this if you DID NOT NEED IT! This is not like getting a new pair of breasts! No one REALLY needs a new pair of perky boobies, they just WANT them for whatever reason they have. (Which is fine!) But these types of surgeries SAVE OUR LIVES! We *need* them to survive. So here is an awesome quote from an incredibly sexy man I adore:
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeyT-kDGW3Q9GALCDw7hkmSBjLQKMXURRK4BTFr4CGL5yFoimM-fceR9teX0FSjRiaGtKZQHu-kz4dD2lazvmh_Yqms_DzQP-KFqWsD4jGTrESBlXmyZMMb08HvgM1EnORM-8igY3AaVX3/s1600/IMG_20120715_043418.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="320" width="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeyT-kDGW3Q9GALCDw7hkmSBjLQKMXURRK4BTFr4CGL5yFoimM-fceR9teX0FSjRiaGtKZQHu-kz4dD2lazvmh_Yqms_DzQP-KFqWsD4jGTrESBlXmyZMMb08HvgM1EnORM-8igY3AaVX3/s320/IMG_20120715_043418.jpg" /></a></div>
Until next time....Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01268308985316035434noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8567510287713065310.post-33518548265562774892012-07-25T21:17:00.003-07:002012-07-26T04:21:10.917-07:00Whoah!For months I have attended Weight Loss Support Groups. Each one was really wonderful and I truly am glad that my insurance made it a requirement in order for me to get the surgery.
HOWEVER...
As each day passes there are things I am learning together that I was NEVER aware of prior to this surgery.
For example: Everyone tells you (doctors included!) that post op, hunger is a thing of the past! I'm here to tell you THAT IS BULLSHIT! On my fourth day I was experiencing real & true HUNGER. No, it was not the "head hunger" I've come to learn about. "Head Hunger" is where you THINK you're hungry but you're really not. Yes, I've had some of that too. But since my 4th day post op, I've had real, live HUNGER. Granted, it wasn't the raging, oh-my-goodness-I'm-starving-I-must-eat-right-this-second-or-I'm-gonna-die hunger...but it was still HUNGER. I realize I sound like a total fat ass already being hungry but guess what? I'm not the only one!
Also, no one tells you that you're going to have buyer's remorse! There have been several days (today included!) where I can't help but feel like "oh my goodness I've made a giant mistake that I can't take back". There are so many unintended consequences that come with this radical decision to alter your body's organs...most of which I have yet to encounter. But still, no one warns you of days like this.
There's no amount of books, or classes, or conversations with your surgeon that can fully prepare you for life AFTER surgery. God will look out for you though. He brought me a new friend, Gracelyn, whom I met at the hospital. She had her surgery the day before me and we were neighbors! We began talking when we'd bump into each other during our walks through the halls. She's so sweet and best of all: SHE MAKES ME FEEL NORMAL. I haven't been feeling very "normal" since I got home. (Not that I really know what the hell "normal" is anyway but I know it's not this!) It's so wonderful to have someone you can talk to who truly understands EXACTLY what you're feeling and going through on a daily basis.
Check this out:
I've been feeling extremely nauseous the past few days and haven't been able to drink much protein. In fact, yesterday I only managed to drink 2 oz. of protein and 14 oz. of water. Part of my problem was yesterday out of nowhere the taste of strawberry I previously loved was now absolutely REPULSIVE! Today I tried to force some down since that's my only source of food and yes, I was hungry. As I learned from watching another bariatric patient, you can become VERY malnourished quickly, so skipping protein is no bueno.
Anyway...
All day long I've been battling this sickening nausea and while I wasn't able to drink any protein, I kept water down fairly well. Tonight after I finished cooking dinner for my boys, the nausea was so overwhelming I began to gag yet trying to stop it from happening. Nothing came up since my pouch was empty, but nonetheless, I was actually throwing up. About 15 seconds later, once I caught my breath, the PAIN started! I don't mean pain like you've stubbed your toe, this was excruciating-I-think-I-just-broke-my-pouch type pain! I tried to calm down and hope it'd go away but it continued to escalate. I was shaking, sweating, HURTING in the middle of my chest that radiated all the way to my back and up in between my shoulder blades. I tried to call Gracelyn to ask her what she thought I should do because I was scared. I got two words out and next thing I know, vomit just comes up out of my mouth without warning. Great, now I've ruined my clothes and bed sheets. I managed to get the on call doctor at my surgeon's office to call me. That wasn't too helpful; she said it could be any number of things. Maybe I'm having a bad case of acid reflux, or my gallbladder is giving out, or my body is rejecting the surgery just to name a few. The possibilities are endless.
I continued to try and calm down and once again call Gracelyn to tell her what the doctor said and how I was feeling. Guess what happened? I'm in mid sentence and more VOMIT comes rolling back out. I run to the sink and more and more vomit (it was actually mucus, thick ugly mucus) came up and magically 95% of the horrendous pain I was experiencing had VANISHED!
I chose not to go to the ER as the doctor said since that pain had pretty much subsided. I'm not allowed to drink anything but water. So...no "food" (protein!) until after I travel back to Augusta on Friday to have my first follow up with my surgeon.
All I can say is this: THANK YOU SO SO MUCH GRACELYN FOR STAYING ON THE PHONE WITH ME TONIGHT FOR TWO WHOLE HOURS TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER AND REASSURE ME THAT WE BOTH MADE THE RIGHT CHOICE BY GETTING THESE SURGERIES! I don't know what I would have done tonight if I didn't have her to talk to me and tell me she had been experiencing similar things and that I was OK and normal.
I can't help but wonder, which I also brought up to her, WHY WERE THESE ISSUES NEVER BROUGHT TO MY ATTENTION BEFORE? How come no one ever told me there'd be days like this?
Everyone tries so hard to make you think it's going to be easy to go through with this decision and once you go home it's all peaches and sugar free cream! THAT IS A LOAD OF BULLSHIT! If you're thinking about getting any bariatric surgery you need to STOP AND THINK LONG AND HARD about whether you REALLY wanna do this or not.
Yes, I've lost weight ( 17 lbs in 15 days ) and I'm only one a couple medicines versus the upteen I was previously on. However, there's many things I'll never be able to do again...for the rest of my life, I can only NIBBLE at food. Will that satiate me? Sweets are gone, history, FORGET THEY EXIST. Yes, you can have sugar free things, but who doesn't love the occasional piece of birthday cake, or a cupcake?! Juice, no more juice. Or the fact that it's going to be difficult mentally & even physically to cook dinner (all your family favorites!) for everyone else but you can't touch one bite! Day after day this will happen because your family can't just stop eating like you are! Anyway I won't bore you with anymore examples, because those too are endless. I'm not trying to discourage anyone from the surgery however, I just want to bring some awareness to some real world feelings and issues that have been hidden from most of the people I know who are on this same journey.
I just had to share my day. Thanks for reading it, if you made it this far! ;)
I'm keeping my head up, tomorrow is going to be a better day! Until next time...Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01268308985316035434noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8567510287713065310.post-80812251435837300482012-07-19T19:02:00.000-07:002013-01-24T05:15:16.137-08:00Junky Day! UGH!I don't what happened today. It's just been one thing after another. I'm in a terrible mood, I feel like poop and I just want to cry and cry and CRY.
These past couple of days I've been realizing that I had a bigger love for food than I really understood or realized! I am so embarrassed because I shouldn't want food. BUT I DO. I want to eat SO BAD. It's such an intense feeling, I hate it. My ego keeps taking a lick every time I see food (whether healthy or not) that I wanna eat.
I've even forgotten the simplest things: I've looked forward to eating a popsicle not once, but TWICE today and on BOTH OCCASSIONS, I left them on the counter to melt. I forgot ALL about them.
I think my body is just going through such an enormity of changes that my hormones just can't keep up and that's why I'm such an emotional wreck today! UGH!
On the bright side: Since I had surgery last week, I've lost 14.5lbs. That brings my total (since starting the liquid diet 2 weeks prior to surgery) up to 34.5lbs. I think my back, hips, thighs and face are smaller. It's just a little bit. But I'm trying to remember that every little bit adds up.
I forgot to take a pic this week. But I promise that from now on, every Tuesday, I'll be taking pictures to post. One day I'll look back and be happy I did it!
I love you all. Thanks for reading. Until next time...Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01268308985316035434noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8567510287713065310.post-62190395943576920892012-07-15T08:28:00.001-07:002012-07-15T09:00:56.728-07:00Courtney's RevengeSometimes I think I'm so smart that it actually makes me stupid. Seriously! For months on end I have been going to these Weight Loss Support Group classes and I've learned all about the warnings. "Follow your surgeon's instructions CAREFULLY", "take ALL your vitamins DAILY", "Continue the LIQUID ONLY diet for 4-6 weeks POST OP", just to name a few.
So far, I've been quite excited that the food in the house (what little bit there's left LOL), has made NO IMPACT on my brain...until YESTERDAY. Ugh. I thought we ("we" bariatric patients) weren't supposed to ever feel hungry for at least 2-3 years! Here I was on the 4th damn day and I WAS STARVING! True enough, I did a LOT yesterday. First, I went to my support group, then took Roman to the mall to trade a game at GameStop and finally went to Wal-Mart where I got the guys an assortment of not so healthy but totally YUMMY foods which are easy for either them to make or even myself if I'm feeling so inclined.
By the time I got home I was totally wiped out. As I put away all that food, my "old" fat girl brain totally kicked into overdrive. I was so hungry and haven't eaten food for weeks. I just wanted one little bite. Well, Roman wanted a Totino's cheese pizza which I gratefully made for him. Secretly I was hoping I'd gag at the smell like I did Anthony's Papa John's pizza the other night...NO SUCH LUCK! It's fragrance was so inviting, I went and took a TEENY TINY bit of cheese and put it in my mouth.
Where was the harm in that?! It's small, soft and oh sooooo delicious. It was flashback into my former life where food was my friend.
Then reality bitch slapped me in the face. HARD.
Next thing I know, my pouch is screaming at me, my stomach muscles are cramping and overall, the pain is so intense I just want to faint. I quickly racked back some water because Rule #1 is NEVER DRINK WHILE YOU EAT; it flushes the food right out of your pouch! Soooo, what better way to get rid of that miniscule piece of cheese? WRONG.
I was meant to be taught a lesson on obedience. "I WILL NOT EAT FOOD. I WILL NOT EAT FOOD. I WILL NOT EAT FOOD."
My body starts to go back to normal some time later, which actually seemed to be an eternity, and I head to the fridge for my protein shake. To my dismay, I had just a small swallow left. As any normal person would, I yanked out my gallon of skim milk and proceeded to whip up another round of vanilla protein drink. Being that I was so hungry/parched, I stepped out of character for a nanosecond and took a swig outta the jug! (Cringe, I know) THE ENTIRE NEW GALLON OF MILK IS SOUR AND I'M DRY HEAVING INTO THE SINK, CRAMPING MY STOMACH MUSCLES AND WONDERING WHAT THE HELL!?!
The scarier issue is this: we don't have a car at the moment and my neighbors only drink whole milk...I am forever destined to skim. My surgeon says I must be drinking at least ONE OUNCE of protein PER HOUR during this transitional phase.
At first it wasn't so bad, I had just tortured my body so much in a short time, I was not craving the protein drink. However, as the evening progressed and it became more and more evident I was going to have to go without milk until MID MORNING, I began to have cravings. They quickly raged out of control with such veracity that I turned to the bottle of protein powder my neighbor gave me yesterday...the label read "mix with water" HAAAAAAALLELUJAH! In a flash I had made up a batch of this strawberry protein powder that smelled like a fresh-out-the-toaster-PopTart! Mmmmmm, it tasted sooooo good. Roman tried it and said it reminded him of FANTA. "Did you hear me Mom, it tastes just like FANTA!" ...Then it happened, AGAIN.
I'm violently vomiting, stomach cramping and back to wanting to die ALL OVER AGAIN. What a shitty day. And this was only Day 4 of the rest of MY LIFE.
It turns out, I had forgotten Rule #5, "BE CAREFUL OF WHAT YOU PUT INTO YOUR MOUTH; READ ALL INGREDIENTS".
I had assumed this stuff was OK...nevermind it had almost 40g of SUGAR and 37g CARBS! What I was experiencing - for sure - was the dreaded "Dumping Syndrome". It's not a pretty thing. This happens to you post op when you eat something too high in fat or sugar.
I laid down for a while trying to relax, but my body was so exhausted from the HELL I had put it through. Why in the world would I do this? Am I really soooo weak that I couldn't handle my own bullshit? I just felt really angry with myself for making such mistakes...but, now I know.
And I won't do that again.
On a happier note: I lost 2lbs since yesterday! LoL Starvation REALLY DOES WORK! Just kidding, NEVER EVER STARVE YOURSELF!! I just have to remember, today is a new day. It's another chance for me to get things RIGHT. I can't dwell on my mistakes from yesterday because I can't change them. BUT I can go forward and fly right from this moment on.
I'm still feeling sore this morning, duh, but what can I say? I did it to my damn self.
Hope y'all have a great day! Till next time...
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfAVVQm5Fg9-iYMB1-zFYFvS7SmAgrCC7vbTr_969qr4fv-1ImV8i1SNW8iPU5O-8FcT7u8dGiBwDflhMMA5C36R8r7mwzYCs0PokV8CR_wIadPnk1uj1saQHUchG0v3Rg9XLf1cBUgamv/s1600/205233_263664850405780_1678301710_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="320" width="275" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfAVVQm5Fg9-iYMB1-zFYFvS7SmAgrCC7vbTr_969qr4fv-1ImV8i1SNW8iPU5O-8FcT7u8dGiBwDflhMMA5C36R8r7mwzYCs0PokV8CR_wIadPnk1uj1saQHUchG0v3Rg9XLf1cBUgamv/s320/205233_263664850405780_1678301710_n.jpg" /></a></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01268308985316035434noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8567510287713065310.post-80926374691717007652012-07-13T08:01:00.002-07:002012-07-13T08:02:18.501-07:00A New Life...FULL STEAM AHEAD!I am so blessed. Honestly. I took a big, big gamble by leaving my life behind in hopes of one day getting this life saving surgery. It's been a long, difficult road...AND I MADE IT! This entire way I have continued to fight for this. All those gallons of tears and sweat was worth it.
Tuesday, July 10, 2012 was my surgery date! I was under the impression (not sure where I got it from!) that the surgery was only going to take 30-45 minutes. Um, I was wrong LOL. It took about 2 hours! :) I currently have 6 incisions on my stomach & navel. It may not look like much on the outside...but the inside...it's all different! Surprisingly, I'm feeling a lot better this morning. Naturally, I'm sore. However, it's not PAIN, just soreness. I've been keeping busy trying to get on my new drinking schedule. Every hour I am supposed to try and consume 1 oz of protein shake and 4 oz of water! Being that my new egg sized pouch only holds 3 oz ... it's been a challenge but I'm getting the swing of things!
The outpouring of love and encouragement I got on FB from all my friends was just such a sweet, sweet blessing. It REALLY helped me. There were moments where I was in so much pain I began feeling scared and thinking "OH MY GOODNESS WHAT HAVE I DONE TO MY BODY!?!?!" ---- I just gave myself a second chance at life, that's what I've done!
I know I say this frequently but: ANTHONY IS AMAZING. I wouldn't have been able to make it through all this without him. For as eloquent as I am, I can't seem to find the words to fully express my gratitude, appreciation and just LOVE for him. He went so far above & beyond for me; not just this week...he ALWAYS does. But, speaking of this week, he was so sweet to me. He held my hand while I walked around the hospital floor, he kept telling me how beautiful I was, and rubbed my back while trying to encourage me to breathe in & out when the pain would have me in tears. God blessed me with such an amazing man. Thank you Anthony. I love you.
OK well, it's time for me to get up and move around...my muscles are telling me so! I will write more later because I did have more to say LOL
Have a great day! :)Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01268308985316035434noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8567510287713065310.post-63434372523699566792012-07-09T08:19:00.000-07:002012-07-09T08:36:28.626-07:00To Gastric Or Not to Gastric, THAT is the Question...I have so many emotions flowing through my body right now I'm not even sure where to begin.
Tomorrow I am having the Gastric Bypass Weight Loss Surgery. This has been my dream since 2007 and honestly, I can't believe it's ACTUALLY happening. Anthony and I are being picked up tonight by transport at 10P. We'll be arriving at Trinity Hospital in Augusta by 6A. I'm the first surgery of the day tomorrow at 7:30A and according to the surgeon will be done in 30-45 minutes. I am definitely staying ONE night in the hospital but I may have to stay TWO nights; I just don't know yet.
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg47jOBU96iBeHRApEg9oJfRhYOjZ9FLdejkJXr9uxYTR22zUvS9o-npqWVPdsjtNAlM0zvo1nmNqMVclAxVA-QwnD1IJEilIhb-itKdnICkArRYn0N9W5cN66XNQhYEgdvYo1VLoVu2coI/s1600/1341845608518.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="240" width="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg47jOBU96iBeHRApEg9oJfRhYOjZ9FLdejkJXr9uxYTR22zUvS9o-npqWVPdsjtNAlM0zvo1nmNqMVclAxVA-QwnD1IJEilIhb-itKdnICkArRYn0N9W5cN66XNQhYEgdvYo1VLoVu2coI/s320/1341845608518.jpg" /></a></div>
This is what my procedure looks like. My surgeon, Dr. Darren Glass of Trinity Bariatrics in Augusta, GA will make a small "pouch" out of the top of my stomach and then reconnect my intestines as shown in the picture. This has not been a decision I've made lightly. THERE IS NOTHING "EASY" ABOUT THIS PROCESS!!
Can you imagine being 26 and being told you won't make it past 28? That is where I was just 3 years ago. My doctors in Orlando FAILED to diagnose me with Type 2 Diabetes. From my initial tests here once I moved to Savannah, GA it proved I had been severely diabetic for many, many years. In fact, they believe I developed Gestational Diabetes at 19 while I was pregnant with my son which only raged out of control. The consequence to that was more than DOUBLING IN SIZE. When I arrived here, I was almost 600lbs. I'm embarrassed to admit that, but it's true. Many of you know I had a wonderful job, new car, big & beautiful 5 bedroom/4 bathroom home in Orlando. But, I had gotten too ill to continue working as a caregiver which I'd done for 10 years.
It was time for me to care for MYSELF. So I gave up my ENTIRE LIFE to chase this dream of having bariatric surgery in order to SAVE MY LIFE and in turn, save my SON'S life; I'm all he has.
Fast forward to now: I currently weigh 371lbs. I take a gaggle of pills everyday to help control the many repercussions of uncontrolled diabetes. By the grace of God I'm hoping to be able to come off most, if not all, of these horrid medicines and insulin injections I subject myself to on a daily basis.
Yes, there are risks with this surgery. But I won't live much longer if I don't do it. I'm betting on LIFE & GOD to help me successfully come out with a VICTORY.
This is my motivation:
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhoCCknj9eeiW-eTSUF26o18yy1KWZpan2UcOJypH874nuSQvXrA_gO7k54zI_IsigM4JLGayUZ6HJ2wul1HESLTyezhVr_lFu3iUMHzcMZRa8H-gVjk6NDOfZwsCU5xtXc6dPAYitG7UJ/s1600/533137_10150703053272255_2088775220_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="240" width="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhoCCknj9eeiW-eTSUF26o18yy1KWZpan2UcOJypH874nuSQvXrA_gO7k54zI_IsigM4JLGayUZ6HJ2wul1HESLTyezhVr_lFu3iUMHzcMZRa8H-gVjk6NDOfZwsCU5xtXc6dPAYitG7UJ/s320/533137_10150703053272255_2088775220_n.jpg" /></a></div>
Here I am with my HANDSOME SON, Roman, about a month ago. I woke up that morning and got dressed. Looking in the mirror I thought I looked so good....until our local news anchor Kim Gusby snapped this pic of me. When I saw it I wanted to cry.
I deeply appreciate how Roman loves me so purely and unconditionally...but I need to lose weight for him and for me. I don't want him being picked on and made fun of for having a fat mother. It's not fair to him. He doesn't deserve that. Roman deserves so much more.
On the bright side, I will be turning 30 years old in about 6 months. My goal has always been to have turned my body around by that deadline. Thank God I'm well on my way.
My 20's have been filled with hurt and insecurities. But my 30's will be filled with fun, hope and happiness. I honestly can't wait.
Strap on your boots because we're gonna be in for one hell of a ride! I hope you enjoy watching me as I transform myself.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01268308985316035434noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8567510287713065310.post-42889898502428526232012-01-20T08:45:00.000-08:002012-07-07T13:11:18.912-07:00The Ugly Struggle<div style="color: yellow;">There are people who were blessed with this inate ability to breeze through life without any problems trying to figure out who they are, what they want to be or just how they feel about themselves. </div><div style="color: yellow;"><br />
</div><div style="color: yellow;">I understand the Nature Vs. Nurture theory...yet I'm not sure which side I fall on. Day after day, week after week and year after year, I have always, always, ALWAYS woken up each day so insecure about the way I look, how different I am, my life is, from everyone else around me. No matter how much I mature, or how many candles build on my birthday cakes, I still can't seem to shake it. </div><div style="color: yellow;"><br />
</div><div style="color: yellow;">I try. I really do. But I just can't see what you see. I was raised to believe that big is NOT beautiful. And that fat was the root of all evil. Not to mention that no matter what my weight, good to not, I was always told I had so much farther to go to look good. It's no wonder I'm so self-conscious and extremely insecure. Yet, I make little steps in the right direction. </div><div style="color: yellow;"><br />
</div><div style="color: yellow;">Yes, dieting and exercising is helping a small amount. My therapist is helping too. (Yes, I see a Psychologist! and I love her!) There are plenty of days where I look in the mirror and I'm so absolutely disgusted with my body I wanna cry. Then - like most women- I begin to wonder what in the hell is WRONG with Anthony?! How could be POSSIBLY be attracted to THIS in any way, shape or form. Yet, I always seem to remember that he loves me for the wonderful person I am. And to him, I will always be beautiful, no matter what size. </div><div style="color: yellow;"><br />
</div><div style="color: yellow;">Unconditional love is something I'm not too familiar with. Anthony is teaching me, and so far, I'm really enjoying it. Yet, I'm a creature of habit. So I won't be completely comfortable anytime soon. I feel as if there is always going to be this part of my brain that won't let me believe that he is completely sincere every time he says this is his family and he is never, ever, EVER going to leave us. </div><div style="color: yellow;"><br />
</div><div style="color: yellow;">On the other hand, I'm so excited to get the Gastric Bypass this summer; it helps me fuel that nasty side of my brain in which I feel that once I'm a "normal" size, he will definitely want to stay because I'm going to look so much better. I understand that isn't a good way to look at it. But again, most of you weren't raised the way I was. </div><div style="color: yellow;"><br />
</div><div style="color: yellow;">All I can see for my future is GREAT THINGS. I want to become a Coach for Team Beachbody! Then I want to become a certified instructor for them as well. Once this weight comes off...my struggle won't be over. But at least it's going to make me feel a whole hell of a lot more confident that I can conquer it. This weight didn't show up overnight, so believe me, I damn sure don't expect it to fall off overnight either! </div><div style="color: yellow;"><br />
</div><div style="color: yellow;">I just want anyone who reads this to know: YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Most days I feel as if no one can understand what I'm going through or what in the hell this life is like. So please, if you are in the same boat....YOU CAN DO THIS! I believe in YOU....even if we've never met! I know you can do this!</div><div style="color: yellow;"><br />
</div><span style="color: yellow;">Had to get that off my chest! Till next time...</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01268308985316035434noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8567510287713065310.post-86309402298321526302012-01-08T07:46:00.000-08:002012-01-08T07:51:15.392-08:00Happy Happy Happy!<div style="background-color: black; color: cyan;">It's been another long amount of time since I last wrote. Ugh. I don't know why I can't seem to remember to blog! LoL Anyway so much as taken place but I'm going to just talk about the most awesome of all. </div><div style="background-color: black; color: cyan;"><br />
</div><div style="background-color: black; color: cyan;"><br />
I have begun to take the steps to have the Gastric Bypass done. I have come a long way already but now I am at the point to where I have to fulfill the insurance requirements which are taking 6 weight loss support group classes. The only down side to that is the classes are only once a month. I've already taken the class in December so my projected time to get the surgery done is somewhere around May or June. I'm so so happy but I'm also a bit scared. People have said I'm taking "the easy" way out to lose weight. But honey, let me tell YOU! It is so NOT easy. There is NOTHING easy about this choice. For instance, two week prior to the surgery I will have to be on a liquid only diet as well as 4 weeks after. Does that sound easy to you? Or how about saying goodbye to lots of certain foods for the rest of your life? Or what if you're not a regular vitamin taker (which thankfully I am) and now vitamins are VITAL to your existence! </div><div style="background-color: black; color: cyan;"><br />
</div><div style="background-color: black; color: cyan;">Those are just a few of the things off the top of my head. There is so so so sooooo much that goes into making a decision like this. It's not just a one day fix all. It's an entire lifestyle change. </div><div style="background-color: black; color: cyan;"><br />
</div><div style="background-color: black; color: cyan;">I'm excited and I'm ready. </div><div style="background-color: black; color: cyan;"><br />
</div><div style="background-color: black; color: cyan;">I started working out with Team BeachBody a few months ago, was doing pretty well. Then I got sick and fell off the horse. But, I finally got my big ass back up! I have to at least lose 20lbs by the time my surgery gets here, but really I'd like to see if I can lose more. Every bit helps. </div><div style="background-color: black; color: cyan;"><br />
</div><div style="background-color: black; color: cyan;">My friend and I are going to be doing a Transformation Diary together and I'm so excited! It's nice to have someone who is going through the same thing and will understand exactly how I'm feeling and what I'm dealing with. </div><div style="background-color: black; color: cyan;"><br />
</div><div style="background-color: black; color: cyan;">Roman is doing so well. He is such a blessing. He is healthy, smart, funny and such a cutie! Anthony and I have been living together for just about a year now! I can't believe it! It's gone by so fast. We don't fight either! I never knew it was possible to have a relationship in which you didn't fight with your partner! Anthony & I are so happy together. God really blessed me with him. It should be illegal to be THIS HAPPY. </div><div style="background-color: black; color: cyan;"></div><div style="background-color: black; color: cyan;">My goal is to keep up the blogging (FOR REAL!) as well as Vlogs! Anthony bought me an Android for Christmas and taught me how to do videos and post them to YouTube. So my diary of this transformation is about to be on & poppin! ;) </div><div style="background-color: black; color: red;"><br />
</div><div style="background-color: black; color: red;"><b><i>*I wanna give a special SHOUT OUT to my Step-Son, Malik! Today is his 15th Birthday! He is such a wonderful person, I love him soooo much!* </i></b></div><div style="background-color: black; color: cyan;"><br />
</div><div style="background-color: black; color: cyan;">Anyway, I hope each of you who reads this will have a fun time reading about my journey and maybe even become inspired yourself! </div><div style="background-color: black; color: cyan;"><br />
</div><span style="background-color: black; color: cyan;">Happy New Year! I hope it's full of blessings for everyone!</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01268308985316035434noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8567510287713065310.post-87613675139013883502011-06-09T17:59:00.000-07:002012-07-07T13:12:48.133-07:00Self Discovery<span style="color: magenta;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">It has been a while since I wrote. For that, I'm sorry. Not just to my readers, but I'm apologizing to myself. Life just has a way of changing with such veracity that it becomes harder and harder to keep the same routine. </span></span><br />
<span style="color: magenta;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="color: magenta;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">But isn't that what life is ultimately all about? We're supposed to continue rotating and changing because without it, we'd die. So maybe I'm not as sorry as I though. Maybe I should be incredibly happy that things have been turning around - for the BETTER - in such a way that I remain in a constant state of busy...or distraction. I guess my mood determines what way I wanna look at it. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: magenta;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">For starters, that guy I told you about when I last wrote in September 2010, we've been dating this entire time! His name is Anthony. Actually, we moved in together February 2, 2011. We have been really enthusiastic about the path our lives are taking since we decided to further intertwine them. I could bore you with all my lovey-dovey details, but I will spare you. Just know that for the FIRST time in my life, I can honestly admit I am experiencing a relationship that real, mature and involves true love. It's finally happened to me! Every year and every failed relationship that continued to pass chipped away at the hope I had left thinking that someone like me would be able to find someone who was created to share lives with. However, my persistence paid off and we are crazy in love. </span></span><br />
<span style="color: magenta;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</span></span><br />
<span style="color: magenta;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Anthony is the most well-rounded, together, positive person I know. In fact, he has inspired me to want to be a better person. With that unintended encouragement, I have begun to exercise and I even quit smoking on April 27, 2011. </span></span><br />
<span style="color: magenta;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="color: magenta;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">There is a lot about myself I either didn't know or just chose to block out. Not all of it is pleasant, unfortunately. Yet, with all new discoveries I make about myself, I continue to try to correct the ones that need improvement and feed into the qualities I'm proud of. </span></span><br />
<span style="color: magenta;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</span></span><br />
<span style="color: magenta;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Writing is not just a hobby, it helps me nurture my creative capabilities in several outlets. I have been writing a journal for about 5 years now and recently I took some time to start at the beginning and read my adventures over the years. Some of them made me proud and others made cringe. There have also been some times which brought tears to my eyes. However, the best part of all these memories I so effortlessly jotted down is MAYBE, just maybe, I can turn my experiences into a book and eventually help others. Even if ONE female on this planet reads my book and finds comfort or can relate...then my job is done. </span></span><br />
<span style="color: magenta;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</span></span><br />
<span style="color: magenta;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Many days I have slipped through life feeling as if I am a martian masquerading as a human. I can't help but wonder why in the hell have so many obstacles ruled my life? Well, I had an epiphany: there is NO WAY that I am the ONLY female who has had soooo many curveballs thrown her way. BUT...I might be the only one who has the courage to talk about it. </span></span><br />
<span style="color: magenta;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</span></span><br />
<span style="color: magenta;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">OK, so that's what's been going on! Now that I have my laptop fixed, I will definitely be blogging more again :) </span></span><br />
<span style="color: magenta;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</span></span><br />
<span style="color: magenta;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Til next time...</span></span><br />
<span style="color: magenta;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="color: magenta;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01268308985316035434noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8567510287713065310.post-87551731686499891042010-09-07T03:37:00.000-07:002010-09-07T03:37:47.261-07:00A splash of this & a dash of that...<div style="color: cyan; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Just when you think you have it ALL figured out, life comes out with a curveball that you didn't even expect. But despite that, you always gotta aim high and keep trying. I've been through a lot lately (well, when HAVEN'T I?) and somehow I manage to find the inner strength to keep on living and learning.</div><div style="color: cyan; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="color: cyan; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> It's been a pretty big adjustment not having my sister here anymore. I guess I'm in denial because I keep her bed in my room, just the way she left it. (minus her pillow I gave to Roman cuz he missed her) However, I definitely have kept my promise to her. I continued to go out and socialize. I put on make-up everyday and try to keep my hair done LOL It's been good though. Those little things go a long way in making me feel good about everything in general. </div><div style="color: cyan; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="color: cyan; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Y'all know this blog wouldn't not REALLY be mine if it didn't include something about a man LMAO! But yes, it's true. I must confess, right before Athena left she was able to help me & Mike squash everything. As I knew it would, it blew up in my face anyway. The best thing I got from Mike was this: His family. While he may be too young & immature to fully appreciate what I bring to the table, his family definitely sees what a great person I am. I love them. Especially his sister Kiyah. She has become my bestie. I don't know what I'd do without her! She is such a real, down-to-Earth-female she tried to warn me about her brother, but y'all know my stubborn ass just didn't listen. Once I finally did, she let me get over it and then she & her awesome husband planned a night out where they brought someone along who they thought would be a good match for me, and vice versa. To make a long story short, they didn't say anything to either of us about their undercover intentions and decided to let nature take it's course. It sure did. This man is wonderful. Plain and simple. Trust me, I know they ALL are in the beginning, but this guy is different. He is mature, funny, definitely sexy and makes me laugh. I can't say enough about how happy I am when I get around him =) I decided to jump the gun a little bit and see how Roman liked him, cuz you already know Roman is pretty good about weeding out the unfit...and he passed. Roman talks about him everyday, just like me. </div><div style="color: cyan; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="color: cyan; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I found an apartment that I'm hoping to be able to move into next month. It's not far from Roman's school or where we live now. It's a gorgeous place for an amazing price. I am so optimistic about the near future. I just can't wait. I don't wanna say too much b/c I don't wanna jinx it. </div><div style="color: cyan; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="color: cyan; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Anyway, that's really all I wanted to say. I know some of y'all been emailing me wanting an update, so here it is. Hope it was worth the wait!</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01268308985316035434noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8567510287713065310.post-46821822178271695792010-06-09T06:11:00.000-07:002010-06-09T06:11:46.054-07:00Rollercoaster.I feel compelled to type yet I really don't know what I want to say. I keep choking back my tears of sorrow and I wish the ache in my chest would stop. The thought of my sister having to abruptly move back to Connecticut next week just takes the breath right out of me.<br />
<br />
Athena & I grew up apart, mostly. There were a couple times throughout her life I lived there with her or right down the block. Sadly, she doesn't remember those days at all...while those were always the memories nearest and dearest to me. I know I'm being selfish by wanting her to stay yet I can not help it. Sure we argue like the sisters we are but 99% of the time, we're laughing and so happy together. It's not just me either, Roman is going to fall apart once he finds out! I swear, I really hope her mom can get stuff fixed so Athena can stay. I've never been good at letting go, this time is no different. <br />
<br />
Since my sister moved in, my whole existence here in Savannah changed. She's encouraged me to go out, exercise more (and in turn my weight loss has doubled) and even helped me start dating again. None of these things I would have done without her love and encouragement. It may sound corny but Athena makes me a better person. All along I thought I was going to teach her all these "Life Lessons" and really, she's the one teaching me.<br />
<br />
I remember the very first time I ever laid eyes on her, she was 6 months old. I felt like my world was complete, I was so overjoyed to know this beautiful little toothless baby was my sister! I remember instantly thinking of how we were going to be besties our whole lives and even wondered how she would be as she got older. Seventeen years later I'm here to say that I'm so proud of her, she has surpassed my expectations.<br />
<br />
I've made a decision: I'm going to start saving money so Roman and I can move back to CT ourselves. I'm not really wanting to stay in the south anymore, and once I left the last time, I promised myself I'd move back as soon as I could...since I didn't really wanna leave anyway. The schools are incredibly better than they are here and I want Roman to have the best education possible. He won't get it here. Trust me, it's gonna take a couple years for me to get the money I need, so don't worry, I'm not leaving yet. But I am going to do it.<br />
<br />
Don't be surprised if I don't get on much for the next little while.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01268308985316035434noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8567510287713065310.post-22845083752720630412010-04-29T11:48:00.000-07:002010-04-29T11:54:31.119-07:00- - - A Poem - - -<div style="color: #b4a7d6; text-align: center;"><b><u>I MISS YOU</u> </b><b> </b></div><div style="color: #b4a7d6; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #b4a7d6; text-align: center;"><b>I miss you </b><b> </b></div><div style="color: #b4a7d6; text-align: center;"><b>but I haven't met you yet </b><b> </b></div><div style="color: #b4a7d6; text-align: center;"><b>so special </b><b> </b></div><div style="color: #b4a7d6; text-align: center;"><b>but it hasn't happened yet</b></div><div style="color: #b4a7d6; text-align: center;"><b> </b><b>you are gorgeous </b><b> </b></div><div style="color: #b4a7d6; text-align: center;"><b>but I haven't met you yet</b></div><div style="color: #b4a7d6; text-align: center;"><b> </b><b>I remember</b></div><div style="color: #b4a7d6; text-align: center;"><b> </b><b>but it hasn't happened yet<br />
and if you believe in dreams </b><b>or </b></div><div style="color: #b4a7d6; text-align: center;"><b>what is more important </b><b>that a dream <u>can</u> come true </b><b> </b></div><div style="color: #b4a7d6; text-align: center;"><b>I will meet you<br />
I was peeking </b><b> </b></div><div style="color: #b4a7d6; text-align: center;"><b>but it hasn't happened yet </b><b> </b></div><div style="color: #b4a7d6; text-align: center;"><b>I haven't been given </b><b> </b><br />
<b>my best souvenir</b></div><div style="color: #b4a7d6; text-align: center;"><b> </b><b>I miss you </b></div><div style="color: #b4a7d6; text-align: center;"><b> </b><b>but I haven't met you yet </b></div><div style="color: #b4a7d6; text-align: center;"><b> </b><b>I know your habits</b></div><div style="color: #b4a7d6; text-align: center;"><b> </b><b>but wouldn't recognize you yet</b></div><div style="color: #b4a7d6; text-align: center;"><b> </b><b>and if you believe in dreams </b><b>or</b></div><div style="color: #b4a7d6; text-align: center;"><b> what is more important </b><b>that a dream <u>can</u> come true </b></div><div style="color: #b4a7d6; text-align: center;"><b> </b><b>I will meet you<br />
I'm so impatient </b></div><div style="color: #b4a7d6; text-align: center;"><b> </b><b>I can't stand the wait </b></div><div style="color: #b4a7d6; text-align: center;"><b> </b><b>when will I get my cuddle?</b></div><div style="color: #b4a7d6; text-align: center;"><b> </b><b>who are you?<br />
I know by now that you'll arrive </b></div><div style="color: #b4a7d6; text-align: center;"><b>by the time I stop waiting</b><br />
<b>I miss you</b></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01268308985316035434noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8567510287713065310.post-46200220247720661292009-11-09T17:46:00.000-08:002009-11-09T17:56:49.911-08:00Like a Virgin....OK so I'm a regular blogger on MySpace and get some really awesome feedback. My girl Maria who owns PRECIOUS DESIGNS (jewelry) started her own "official" blog. After reading her gut-busting posts I decided to follow suit and make an official blog too.<br /><br />As you can tell, this is my first post, and it was just a DO IT NOW kinda thing. Nothing too important or funny to say LOL.<br /><br />Hey, so my son got 6 A's & 3 B's on his report card today. I'm so proud! Well, I'm going to play around with this so I can learn what all this blog can do! I look forward to making y'all laugh and probably cry with this life I live. However, I keep the FUN in dysfunctional :)<br /><br />Till next time...<br /><input id="gwProxy" type="hidden"><!--Session data--><input onclick="jsCall();" id="jsProxy" type="hidden"><div id="refHTML"></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01268308985316035434noreply@blogger.com1