28 Weeks & Old Habits ReSurface!

Yesterday I went to for my 28 week check up with my obstetrician. It was fantastic! My favorite part was definitely the ultrasound!! There is something so incredibly special about modern technology allowing you to see the little life that grows inside you before they actually arrive! I learned that my son is 16" and 3.2 pounds! How incredible is THAT?!! Here I was, all these months, worrying incessantly about my nutritional intake and thinking maybe he wasn't getting enough! LOL It turns out the average size of a 28 wk gestation baby is 14" and 2.2-2.5 pounds...so he is definitely absorbing a plethora of nutritients!

On the Flip Side ...

Old habits REALLY do die hard. I have absolutely been struggling with my habits, water intake and just adjusting to my changing body. It's so easy to say "ohhhhh don't be silly, you're PREGNANT! it's OK!" but unfortunately, my brain will then say it's NOT okay, pregnant or not and I then wrestle for a while. Before surgery, I wasn't really a "sweets" type person. I was all about breads, pastas, (sandwiches were my total favorite) and sure, occasionally I'd eat something sweet, but not much of it. Leading up to surgery you learn about the dredded "Dumping Syndrome" and I never paid much attention to it, after all, why should I ? I'm not at risk for eating sugary foods that would induce that issue anyway. WRONG! It's like someone has completely FLIPPED my taste buds all around. Sure, I still like sandwiches BUT oh my stars! I crave sweets like never before. I'm hoping that it's just a pregnancy thing because it is total TORTURE! I definitely indulge more than I should...and the worst part? I DO NOT DUMP FROM SUGAR! It really pisses me off that I don't. I actually WANTED TO! I was hoping it would teach me the harsh reality that it is NOT OK to eat that stuff. But, of course, my pouch welcomes it. I have substituted my cravings with fruit & Cool Whip but honestly, that doesn't always work. I guess my brain knows what I'm trying to do and just isn't falling for it. I definitely work hard at bypassing fast food restaurants. Sadly I still get cravings for those as well. And yes, I know which places my pouch will tolerate and which ones it won't. Thankfully it's only a couple spots, but it still is a fight. I really don't know what happened. In the beginning I never had cravings for "bad" things and to the contrary, my pouch rejected most foods unless they were organic and fresh from the Farmer's Market. Then, slowly but surely, I guess my pouch healed more and more and became more tolerant to "regular" foods. Once that began, the fat girl inside me just HAD to push the envelope and try new things from time to time "just to see". For instance: if I am out and about, I'll start thinking about fast food. I always have PLENTY of fruit & snacks (like protein bars) in my purse in addition to extra bottles of cold water. Yet, I still need to have a mental debate with myself and go over it again and again as to WHY I DO NOT NEED FAST FOOD! It's so exhausting. And it kills my self esteem. I really feel like my goodness I should be OVER THIS ALREADY! Geez. Plus, I gained these pissy little 3 pounds back so I'm at 287 again. This is my 4th month of teetering back and forth between 284-287. Again, YES, I know I'm pregnant. Yet, I struggled sooooo hard to get where I am, I just can't help but be fearful that I'm going to screw everything up and continue to gain and gain and gain and then never get it all off after Carlos is born, thus wasting time/money/efforts to get this surgery. I track my food intake, honestly, on MyFitnessPal. I'm SuperHumanC on there if you'd like to follow me. (I haven't figured out how to get a ticker on my blog yet despite being told how LOL) I've still got my Facebook page up ( facebook.com/TransformingWithBariatricSurgery ) so please, check those out if you haven't already. I'm just at a crossroad right now. Maybe it's because I'm tired today and that's why I feel funky. I don't know. OR Maybe it's the fact that the ENTIRE 20 minute drive home I had to re-assure myself I didn't need fast food and how it was unhealthy, why I wouldn't want to admit to that (because I'm listing EVERYTHING I put into my mouth on that app!) how dare I want to spend money (that I don't have!) on something so bad for me, etc! And again, I just feel like I shouldn't be doing these things. Anyway, I was cleared to do "slow, early morning walking" by my doctor yesterday, which I was super happy about. So, here is my picture I took this morning. I walked in honor of those affected in Boston's horrific bombings yesterday. What is this world coming to? smh Until next time...

Confessions & Feelings

Hi everyone :-) I was debating whether or not to write on Monday after my next appointment but there were some things I wanted to say. I'm not sure if I had said this in my previous post but I purchased "Body Gospel" which is a low impact workout from Beachbody (where Insanity / P90x & TurboFire all originated) and eagerly began. Obviously, being so pregnant, my physical capabilities were not as high as those on the videos so I did modify them to better suit my body's needs. I woke up each morning, immediately got dressed and pressed "PLAY" to ensure my workout was completed first thing. As luck would have it, my routine was shattered by my obstetrician at the previous appointment. Up until that point I had no clue I considered a HIGH RISK pregnancy... So I was taken aback when she adamantly discouraged my exercising and warned me about my very real risk for pre-term labor. As it was she was a bit put off by my loss of 2 lbs in the week gap between appointments. I had successfully made it back to my January weight / lowest-in-God-know's-how-long of 284. It taught me that I need to exercise 6 days every week OR I'll put the weight back on. Anyway, I respect her and followed the rules... Until my baby sister flew in from Connecticut to visit for a week. She had never been to Charlotte before and I was intent on making sure she had a fantastic time! We pretty much were on-the-go the entire time she was here, bouncing from place to place, shopping, updating baby registries, doing activities with my Mom's group, et cetera. No good deed shall go unpunished. The following day after her departure I began having contractions. These were not just Braxton Hicks ... These were full-on contractions, back pain, vomiting, diarrhea, get-your-ass-to-the-ER-contractions! It turns out my "home" hospital is 20 minutes away WITHOUT traffic. Having contractions 5 minutes apart made that drive feel like it was on the opposite coast of the country. Instead I drove to the closest hospital that is also under the same name just different branch. They were not happy to see me at all. It was crowded, of course, and they felt as if I was encroaching on their turf. Geez, I thought I did a great job driving myself AND toughing out TWO SETS OF CONTRACTIONS along the way without causing an accident! But, what do I know? Thankfully the Lord answered my prayers and stopped my I labor on it's own. That worked out perfectly because the staff didn't have time for me and since Carlos appeared to be doing just fine on the monitors, I guess that meant I wasn't a priority to them anyway. Upon dismissal hours later, the nurse stressed to me several times not to come back there if it were to happen again and to take the extra time to go to my home hospital. Not a problem! Since then I've gotten back into my routine of napping during the day, drinking tons of water or decaf green tea and napping some more. My son is extremely active and seems to be growing nicely according to the size of my giant, round stomach! :-) I'm having another ultrasound done on Monday and can't wait to see my little womb-mate again. I can, however, wait to get on the scale. I'm not looking forward to that part, at all. Before I forget: I'm back actively using MyFitnessPal again; feel free to add me "SuperHumanC". Also, if you haven't already, check out my Facebook page ( www.Facebook.com/TransformingWithBariatricSurgery ) I'd love to hear any questions, comments, suggestions you may have. I'm hoping I can get to know all of my followers and make my page more interactive. Right now I feel like I'm talking to myself ;-) Thank you for sharing this journey with me. It means the world. Until next time...

22 weeks & counting!

Hey Everyone! Today I went in to see my OB for my check up. I'm currently 22 wks pregnant and everything is going great! In fact, (I can't remember if I blogged about this or not but...) between January & February I had gained 3lbs. Yep! My first gain since surgery! I wasn't totally shocked but the reality was a slap to my pride! I had gotten down to 284 and went up to 287. Besides, could I *really* expect to lose weight during my entire pregnancy? Anyway, I am proud to announce that I lost one of those 3 lbs I had found at my last check up! :) So I'm currently 286! Even better: all the tests we had done last month for Down Syndrome/brain/spinal abnormalities all came back NEGATIVE! Our little blessing is perfectly HEALTHY, so I can't possibly ask for anymore! On another note! It was brought to my attention that Team Beachbody was selling their BODY GOSPEL workout set for only $25! I have been wanting that for some time now...so I jumped on it! I'm so excited, it arrived today and I'll be starting it tomorrow! Don't worry, it's low impact and my DR said it was fine for me to continue to exercise. I just can't do TurboFire ;) I hope y'all are doing great! Please check out my FB Page "Transforming With Bariatric Surgery" and show some love! :) Until next time...

Why Do We Have to Remain Quiet?

I learned some extremely valuable information last week. While I'm grateful to have been privvy to this info, it also really enraged me. There was a point in time where I was having phone conversations and swapping emails, as well as pictures, with my nutritionist. (She works for my surgeon) Since transportation was an issue for me and I wasn't able to get rides to see her in person (it was 3 hrs one way!) I was very grateful for her help via alternative options. As I'm sure you can tell, I was just as detailed about my daily regiment with her as I have been with y'all. I'm sure you can imagine my euphoria when I told her all about the liquid protein vials I had found to mix with my high protein powders to make my infamous "Super Protein" shakes. I was really proud of myself for being able to get in a full days worth of protein FOR BREAKFAST! I just knew I'd be a great rule follower! :) Thankfully, my nutritionist was excited and cheered me on! She wanted pictures of the liquid protein to pass this info onto other patients. Life was great! :) Little by little as time progressed, my hair started to fall out. Well, I read in this book "Weight Loss Surgery for Dummies" that at about 4 months post op this will happen to you if you're not getting enough protein. I just dismissed it because well...after all, I'm getting more than enough protein every day and even my nutritionist says I'm doing great! Since I found out I was pregnant, my communications began to diminish with my surgeon and nutritionist. I just feel like it's because they weren't happy with me getting pregnant just 3 months post op. I can't say I'm totally shocked. Not everyone is going to share in my joy! Now that we've moved to North Carolina, I had to (obviously) get a new obstetrician. Would you believe the doctor I was given is a bariatric patient too?!!!! How awesome is that?! And...she was pregnant soon after too. (So I feel better and less like a leper!) But, as I was telling her about my "Super Protein" breakfasts...she quickly stops to interject this vital piece of information: OUR BODIES CAN ONLY PROCESS ABOUT 20G OF PROTEIN AT ONE TIME, THEREFORE EVERYTHING OVER THAT IS BEING WASTED! I was taken aback. But, we kept chatting and then my boyfriend and I got to hear our baby's heartbeat for the first time and forgot all about what I had just heard. After a couple days I was thinking about that conversation and it hit me like a ton of bricks: I HAVE NOT BEEN GETTING ALL THE PROTEIN I'VE NEEDED LIKE I THOUGHT...LIKE MY NUTRITIONIST ENSURED ! Then, as any mom would, I began "What-If'ing" myself: what if my baby has been harmed? What if there's a problem? What if I've really damaged my body? WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD MY NUTRITIONIST NOT KNOW THAT WHAT I WAS DOING WAS WRONG AND THEN "OK" IT AND LEAD ME TO BELIEVE I WAS DOING THE RIGHT THINGS? I'm currently awaiting for the results of the slew of blood work done last week. I just continue to feel like I haven't been given correct information and have been quietly guided away from all things that may not be POSITIVE and uplifting. But, guess what?! NOT EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE POSITIVE AND HAPPY AND GREAT! There are always going to be downfalls, missteps and negative sides; to having weight loss surgery or ANYTHING you do in life. Why are we supposed to keep quiet about negative side effects? Why? As you can see I'm just extrememly upset. I don't understand. I just don't. It's not even about my hair. Yes, especially as a female, having long, thick, curly hair has been my "thing" ... so to now have bald spots, thin, whispy hair that's falling out in chunks daily isn't my perfect idea of reality but I DON'T WANT MY BABY TO SUFFER. However, I've been more diligent since last week to ensure I'm drinking protein every 90 minutes so I *know* my body is processing enough. It's just the previous months that worry me. Thankfully, my OB has assured me everything's going to be fine...but when you're pregnant, that doesn't really help. But I appreciate the effort! I haven't contacted my "nutritionist" because I don't think I can successfully write an email that can NICELY explain my findings without giving a tongue lashing. I am 150% positive a phone call is DEFINITELY out of the question. But, best believe in the near future I will be contacting her so I can teach her something new. Until next time...

Slackers Anonymous !

It's been such a long time since I last updated you guys, for that I'm sorry. My family's life has been flipped all around the past couple of months, thankfully for all POSITIVE REASONS. First, we were excited to learn that on 9/26/12 we were blessed with our first GRANDBABY! Here's a current pic of our grandson, Kamari. We love him so much!

As of 2 weeks ago I was 285 lbs! That's right folks, that is OVER 100 lbs LOST! :)

God works in mysterious ways! We had been planning on moving and were wanting to take a trip to Charlotte, NC to check out the city. Next thing we know, it's November 4, 2012 and...

YES! I AM PREGNANT! :)

Right now I am 12 weeks. On Monday I'll be 13 weeks, starting my second trimester! So far, everything is going well, THANK YOU LORD! I was really scared at first, since, my pouch hasn't been the nicest to me. However, your body knows what it needs to do! My surgeon advised me to eat every 2 hours. AND I DO! :) The morning sickness wasn't nearly as bad as it was with my son (who is super excited to become a big brother!) but it definitely kept me down some days. Thankfully it's lightening up the further along I get. Also on Monday I'll be having a check up with my new OB...I really hope we can get a sonogram. But if not, I know we'll get one soon! Oh, I almost forgot! Two days after Thanksgiving we moved to Charlotte, NC! Here is our gorgeous home:

It has 4 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms and is 1800 sq ft! There is 3500sq ft of front & back yards. We just adore it here. The city is huge, we haven't even seen all of it and we've been here a month already! :) Anyway, now that we're settled, internet up and running and a working laptop I'll be able to keep the updates coming again :) I hope each of you have a HAPPY NEW YEAR <3 Til next time...

Compare & Contrast and my Famous Recipe!

Lately my friends have been begging me to give them an idea of what it means to be down (at the time 70lbs) sooooo here's my comparison shot as of last week:

The picture on the left was taken the day before my surgery, 7-9-12. The picture on the right was taken last week, 9-14-12. Big difference so far! I am glad I made this pic, it really helps me see how far I've come because I forget so quickly and get caught thinking about how much much further I have left to go. The reality is, I've lost just a smidge under 1/3 of my entire body weight! That's so fantastic! All of my HARD WORK is paying off! I'm exercising EVERY DAY! (Well, 6 days) Sometimes I'm doing it twice a day. I've built up to 4 miles each way...so I alternate. Some days I will walk 4 miles and go home to either a Leslie Sansone Walk at Home DVD, TurboFire Greatest HIITs (High Intensity Interval Training) from Beachbody DVD or 45 minutes of playing Just Dance on the Wii. Sometimes I will just walk the neighborhood twice and get in 8 miles that day...in addition to whatever errands I'm doing. Here's my awesome recipe I handed out to my Weight Loss Support Group this morning: Crock Pot Chili (feel free to tweak it to your needs, this is just a base!) Ingredients 1.5lbs ground beef 1tsp tumeric 1c chopped onion 1c taco seasoning 2 bay leaves 2tsp cumin 2tbsp chili powder 1tbsp minced garlic 1tsp salt 1tsp pepper 1tbsp paprika 1tsp red cayenne pepper 28oz canned tomatoes (your choice) 1 dash of red pepper flakes 1 can EACH: dark & light kidney beans, pinto beans & black beans Optional: various colored bell peppers, chopped Directions: *Tip: Spray your Crock Pot with Non-Stick Spray for EASY clean up! Brown the beef, add taco & other seasonings, then put into your Crock Pot. Add the rest of the ingredients EXCEPT for the kidney beans. Cook on low 8 to 10 hours OR on high for 5 to 6 hours. Stir occasionally. Add your kidney beans about 90 minutes before serving. ENJOY! :) (You can sprinkle cheddar cheese on top & add a dollop of sour cream!) Hope you have a great weekend! As always, THANK YOU FOR READING! :) Until next time...

10 Weeks Out & Haters Hating!

Hey everyone, my laptop is acting up, so that's why I haven't been on updating as much as I'd like. But, as usual, I'm full of pictures & stories! First of all: I am 10 weeks out and currently weigh 321; I'm down 66lbs! Here's how I looked on Sunday for my son's birthday party :)

Sometimes I wake up in the morning and I just get SO DOWN on myself! This entire process is so hard, mentally and physically. No matter how much I try to keep positive, I still slip. Since I'm having a tough time with food, I have found myself feeling as though I should be seeing more results since I'm basically not eating yet exercising definitely 5 days a week, but usually 6 days. What I constantly forget is that the scale doesn't remind me of all the INCHES I'm losing off of my body. That's what's so complex about this entire ordeal. My clothes feel looser, some more than others, and yet there are some items that are tight 28's while I own 26's that are now falling off! Confusing! It's a matter of time before this is just a distant memory. Anyway, my body mass is completely different. In fact, I found some pictures on my digital camera that completely put it into perspective for me, I'll be putting those up soon! ;) Speaking of distant memories... I can't wait until I reach that "ideal" weight and am where I want to be so all the people who continue to talk bad about me behind my back while smiling in my face can REALLY stick my success in their juice box and suck it!

This is me tonight. I hadn't exercised this morning but I was fired up earlier after hearing some more MOTIVATIONAL WORDS from a friend of mine about a mutual acquaintance. Because once again, it's a family member that can't help but continue to spread rumors & say hateful things about me, it does hurt a little bit but I always suck it up and use it to motivate me to be better!Seriously, while I'm out walking, I think about all the mean & hurtful things people have said about me to keep me buzzing along! Anyway, I wrote myself a little sign and took it on my walk this evening! :) Here's the thing, I've been hearing that "easy way out" phrase again from multiple people. It never, ever will make sense to me how people can honestly believe that bariatric patients are taking the "easy way out". This isn't a diet. It's an entire lifestyle change. So while they can continue to try diets to compete with me, please remember that I can lose my fat but you can't get rid of the ugly in your soul! (Just sayin'!) This surgery is PERMANENT! It's not just a fad or phase I'm going through. I may not be a size 12 yet but the difference between me & them is I WILL DEFINITELY REACH MY GOAL...BECAUSE I AM DETERMINED AND THAT IS WHAT THIS SURGERY DOES!

If you are trying to start getting fit then please know that it's not easy, it definitely takes dedication and hard work. You have to be serious to get results! Once you get to that point where you HONESTLY are READY ... NOTHING CAN STOP YOU! I'm a perfect example: I have been trying to get this surgery since 2007. Granted, I had to endure some extreme changes (gave up my 5 bedroom house, my car, both my jobs and my comfort zone!) but I did it because ultimately I chose LIFE. Not just a new life for myself, but I wanted to live for my son and for every person around me who makes me smile or giggle. I want to be here to help others feel that incredible excitement of stepping on a scale and NOT wanting to break it! I'm definitely loving that cliche' saying "If I can do it, YOU CAN DO IT!" but it's so apropos! ( ap-ruh-poh ; it means fitting, at the right time, to the purpose, opportunely ) I want to discuss something I've been going through. My eyelashes have been breaking & falling out and my hair is changing! When I was growing up, my hair was brown and straight. As I hit puberty, it became jet black and super curly. Most of you who know me would recognize me by my long, curly hair! Now, it's straightening out again. But it's in this in-between phase and is such a pain to deal with. I really miss my curls actually. So I find myself putting it in buns because I can't do anything with it. As for the eyelashes, I really don't know what to say about that. I've always had nice, long thick lashes. None of which I can identify with anymore. I don't know if this is related to the surgery or not. I really have no clue. OH that reminds me, next week I am going back to Augusta for another EGD so my surgeon can check my pouch and make sure there's nothing wrong with it. My nutritionist spoke to him about my emails asking for help finding foods I can tolerate. I didn't write her anything mean, just was being honest. I hope she didn't take them the wrong way. At least I'm getting it checked out though! Of course, I'll let y'all know what happens! Thank you for reading this. Thank you for encouraging me. You may not know it and I may not know you. But I watch the "views" and every time it goes up, it validates that I'm doing the right thing by sharing the REAL LIFE EXPERIENCES I am going through. So THANK YOU, you inspire ME. Final Thought:

Until next time...