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Tuesday, September 7, 2010

A splash of this & a dash of that...

Just when you think you have it ALL figured out, life comes out with a curveball that you didn't even expect. But despite that, you always gotta aim high and keep trying. I've been through a lot lately (well, when HAVEN'T I?) and somehow I manage to find the inner strength to keep on living and learning.

 It's been a pretty big adjustment not having my sister here anymore. I guess I'm in denial because I keep her bed in my room, just the way she left it. (minus her pillow I gave to Roman cuz he missed her) However, I definitely have kept my promise to her. I continued to go out and socialize. I put on make-up everyday and try to keep my hair done LOL It's been good though. Those little things go a long way in making me feel good about everything in general. 

Y'all know this blog wouldn't not REALLY be mine if it didn't include something about a man LMAO! But yes, it's true. I must confess, right before Athena left she was able to help me & Mike squash everything. As I knew it would, it blew up in my face anyway. The best thing I got from Mike was this: His family. While he may be too young & immature to fully appreciate what I bring to the table, his family definitely sees what a great person I am. I love them. Especially his sister Kiyah. She has become my bestie. I don't know what I'd do without her! She is such a real, down-to-Earth-female she tried to warn me about her brother, but y'all know my stubborn ass just didn't listen. Once I finally did, she let me get over it and then she & her awesome husband planned a night out where they brought someone along who they thought would be a good match for me, and vice versa. To make a long story short, they didn't say anything to either of us about their undercover intentions and decided to let nature take it's course. It sure did. This man is wonderful. Plain and simple. Trust me, I know they ALL are in the beginning, but this guy is different. He is mature, funny, definitely sexy and makes me laugh. I can't say enough about how happy I am when I get around him =) I decided to jump the gun a little bit and see how Roman liked him, cuz you already know Roman is pretty good about weeding out the unfit...and he passed. Roman talks about him everyday, just like me. 

I found an apartment that I'm hoping to be able to move into next month. It's not far from Roman's school or where we live now. It's a gorgeous place for an amazing price. I am so optimistic about the near future. I just can't wait. I don't wanna say too much b/c I don't wanna jinx it. 

Anyway, that's really all I wanted to say. I know some of y'all been emailing me wanting an update, so here it is. Hope it was worth the wait!

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Rollercoaster.

I feel compelled to type yet I really don't know what I want to say. I keep choking back my tears of sorrow and I wish the ache in my chest would stop. The thought of my sister having to abruptly move back to Connecticut next week just takes the breath right out of me.

Athena & I grew up apart, mostly. There were a couple times throughout her life I lived there with her or right down the block. Sadly, she doesn't remember those days at all...while those were always the memories nearest and dearest to me. I know I'm being selfish by wanting her to stay yet I can not help it. Sure we argue like the sisters we are but 99% of the time, we're laughing and so happy together. It's not just me either, Roman is going to fall apart once he finds out! I swear, I really hope her mom can get stuff fixed so Athena can stay. I've never been good at letting go, this time is no different.

Since my sister moved in, my whole existence here in Savannah changed. She's encouraged me to go out, exercise more (and in turn my weight loss has doubled) and even helped me start dating again. None of these things I would have done without her love and encouragement. It may sound corny but Athena makes me a better person. All along I thought I was going to teach her all these "Life Lessons" and really, she's the one teaching me.

I remember the very first time I ever laid eyes on her, she was 6 months old. I felt like my world was complete, I was so overjoyed to know this beautiful little toothless baby was my sister! I remember instantly thinking of how we were going to be besties our whole lives and even wondered how she would be as she got older. Seventeen years later I'm here to say that I'm so proud of her, she has surpassed my expectations.

I've made a decision: I'm going to start saving money so Roman and I can move back to CT ourselves. I'm not really wanting to stay in the south anymore, and once I left the last time, I promised myself I'd move back as soon as I could...since I didn't really wanna leave anyway. The schools are incredibly better than they are here and I want Roman to have the best education possible. He won't get it here. Trust me, it's gonna take a couple years for me to get the money I need, so don't worry, I'm not leaving yet. But I am going to do it.

Don't be surprised if I don't get on much for the next little while.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

- - - A Poem - - -

I MISS YOU  

I miss you  
but I haven't met you yet  
so special  
but it hasn't happened yet
you are gorgeous  
but I haven't met you yet
I remember
but it hasn't happened yet
and if you believe in dreams
or 
what is more important that a dream can come true  
I will meet you
I was peeking
 
but it hasn't happened yet  
I haven't been given  
my best souvenir
I miss you 
  but I haven't met you yet 
  I know your habits
but wouldn't recognize you yet
and if you believe in dreams or
what is more important that a dream can come true 
  I will meet you
I'm so impatient 
  I can't stand the wait 
  when will I get my cuddle?
who are you?
I know by now that you'll arrive
by the time I stop waiting
I miss you