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Thursday, June 9, 2011

Self Discovery

It has been a while since I wrote. For that, I'm sorry. Not just to my readers, but I'm apologizing to myself. Life just has a way of changing with such veracity that it becomes harder and harder to keep the same routine. 

But isn't that what life is ultimately all about? We're supposed to continue rotating and changing because without it, we'd die. So maybe I'm not as sorry as I though. Maybe I should be incredibly happy that things have been turning around - for the BETTER - in such a way that I remain in a constant state of busy...or distraction. I guess my mood determines what way I wanna look at it. 

For starters, that guy I told you about when I last wrote in September 2010, we've been dating this entire time! His name is Anthony. Actually, we moved in together February 2, 2011. We have been really enthusiastic about the path our lives are taking since we decided to further intertwine them. I could bore you with all my lovey-dovey details, but I will spare you. Just know that for the FIRST time in my life, I can honestly admit I am experiencing a relationship that real, mature and involves true love. It's finally happened to me! Every year and every failed relationship that continued to pass chipped away at the hope I had left thinking that someone like me would be able to find someone who was created to share lives with. However, my persistence paid off and we are crazy in love. 


Anthony is the most well-rounded, together, positive person I know. In fact, he has inspired me to want to be a better person. With that unintended encouragement, I have begun to exercise and I even quit smoking on April 27, 2011. 

There is a lot about myself I either didn't know or just chose to block out. Not all of it is pleasant, unfortunately. Yet, with all new discoveries I make about myself, I continue to try to correct the ones that need improvement and feed into the qualities I'm proud of. 


Writing is not just a hobby, it helps me nurture my creative capabilities in several outlets. I have been writing a journal for about 5 years now and recently I took some time to start at the beginning and read my adventures over the years. Some of them made me proud and others made cringe. There have also been some times which brought tears to my eyes. However, the best part of all these memories I so effortlessly jotted down is MAYBE, just maybe, I can turn my experiences into a book and eventually help others. Even if ONE female on this planet reads my book and finds comfort or can relate...then my job is done. 


Many days I have slipped through life feeling as if I am a martian masquerading as a human. I can't help but wonder why in the hell have so many obstacles ruled my life? Well, I had an epiphany: there is NO WAY that I am the ONLY female who has had soooo many curveballs thrown her way. BUT...I might be the only one who has the courage to talk about it. 


OK, so that's what's been going on! Now that I have my laptop fixed, I will definitely be blogging more again :) 


Til next time...